Panty Humiliation In Mom's PantiesI had always felt very guilty and ashamed after I began to ********** at the age of 5. I would go off by myself for up to an hour before the feelings would dissipate. At the age of 6 I discovered my Mom's panties and this only served to heighten the shame, humiliation and guilt. It was one thing to ********** but to do so in your own Mom's panties??? I felt like I would rather die than have someone find out.
And yet the risk (and thrill!) of getting caught somehow added to the experience. Getting away with something- and something so taboo- was fun, naughty AND very arousing! Soon I became addicted to sneaking into Mom's drawer and pilfering her panties and slips to play in. But always, the shame, guilt and humiliation would hit hard after I ***********. I swore I would quit. I could not take the horrible feelings afterward. But each time it was always the same. The thoughts would return. I would fight them, sometimes for days, but they only got stronger until I finally had to give in- just this one last time I would tell myself. After all, I had done this dozens and dozens of times already. What was one last time? But it never was the last time.
After some close calls I couldn't get almost being caught off my mind. I kept imagining it over and over until it actually turned into a fantasy. Why on Earth I wanted my Mom to catch me I have no idea. It probably would mean her getting angry and upset, punishing me and putting an end to all my years of panty fun. Yet, I had a strong compulsion to be caught by her in her panties and slip. This became a huge turn on to me for some unknown reason.
I began leaving clues such as leaving her panties in my drawer or letting her walk in on my while I was dressing. Mom ignored my fetish and did her best to remain tight lipped about it all. She probably hoped it was a phase that would go away when i discovered girls.
But this was no phase. It is a fetish that has completely controlled my life. It's probably the most important part of my life, the one that I could never change or take away. I think of all the 1000's and 1000's of hours I have spent thinking about panties, scheming and fantasizing, playing in them, writing fantasies, chatting with pantyboys, forcing myself to go shopping despite it being deeply humiliating to me.
I love to be humiliated in Mom's panties.... I have done so many things that are embarrassing and risky. And it's all about being humiliated in panties. I always wanted to get caught by Mom in her underwear. I craved that shame and embarrassment. I needed it. It fueled my erotic fantasies.
Shopping for panties and slips was hugely embarrassing. For me it was declaring my fetish publicly to the women in the store. Walking up to the matronly saleswoman with a handful of panties was the hardest thing to do. But once home, I would relieve that embarrassment and ********** over and over to the memory of it.
Yesterday, I chatted with an old pantyboy friend. He understands my feelings, my need for humiliation. He found me online and we chatted for almost two and a half hours. None of his talk was about how silky Mom's panties are or how good the material feels or what a turn on it all is. His whole conversation with me was with the naughty aspects of it, making me take a cold, hard look at the naughty things I have done in her panties over the years.
He kept questioning me, making me realize how naughty I was, throwing it in my face that I wore my own Mother's underwear, that I *********** in it and then put it back in her drawer- for HER to wear after I had my way with it! He kept bringing this up to me, shaming me over and over. Telling me how it embarrassed my Mom, that she was so ashamed that she couldn't even bring herself to talking with me about it, to ask me to stop doing these naughty things in her underwear.
He kept making me look at it from my Mom's point of view. I told him she never said anything, that she almost sort of approved by virtue of not doing anything about it. He pointed out that it wasn't acceptance, that is was humiliation on her part that her own son snuck, wore and *********** in her slips and panties- and that she had to wear them afterward! I tried to defend myself, saying I wasn't hurting anyone, that Mom knew all about it but he kept ripping into me, that it wasn't ok, that Mom was NOT happy about me sneaking her underwear to pleasure myself, that she was ashamed and humiliated by my actions and was just too embarrassed to confront me.
I kept looking at all the things I had done over the years, how I left clues for her and tried to bring it to her attention, how I almost rubbed her face in it despite her desperately trying to hide it all and ignore it. But the more she tried to ignore it the more I tried to bring it to her attention by leaving panties in my drawer for her to find or leaving the covers slightly off in the morning so she could see me in her slip or panties as she walked by my room early in the morning..
The more shameful I felt the more aroused I got and my panty friend knew this. I couldn't help but touch myself while he kept chastising me. He kept asking me what I was doing- accusing me of touching myself and getting wet in her panties and he was right. He knew I was going to shoot all over her panties and finally I did.
After the last good feelings of ****** drained away he kept asking me direct questions, making me look at what had just done, pointing out that I had *** all over Mom's panties- again! And it didn't help at all that I had shared the experience with a strange man online.
I am so naughty!