Never Better

Divorced for 3 years after being together for 17. His struggle with depression felt contagious, and now that I don't live with it, I have more fun, more friends and interests, do so many of the things I always wanted to. I'm sky diving in 2 days and can't wait! Doing the funnest things with my sons, like travel and hot air ballooning, performing together...all things we didn't do, because of a general heaviness and gloom. I still get along with my ex, who is in a new loving relationship and seems (for the moment) happier, too.

I just wanted to write and say that it can be the best thing you can do for yourself to get out of an unwell relationship to find your own wellness. It can be especially hard to do when a real illness is involved, but sometimes necessary for your own health or that of your children.
simplygirl simplygirl
46-50, F
6 Responses Jun 8, 2012

Yes, our love is not love and marriage is an institution where we put love in a cage and call that marriage.

Glad to hear the positive! Thank you for sharing xo

Happy to hear that you have found your "new you" :) Sounds like it suits you well lol Serious question though - do you at all feel like you abandoned your soon to be ex?

:) I think so, for sure! Since I wrote this story, I also traveled in Spain, began rock-climbing and have nearly completed my sky-diving license.

Actually, we divorced 4 years ago...fully "EX". At the time I guess I felt like that somewhat, but I had put a lot of energy into putting him first, so I felt more like I was quitting self-abandonment, if that makes sense.

Makes 100% sense, just thought I would ask :) Keep it up - you sound very happy now!

Congratulations to you! You sound very happy and free. I wish you the best and hope that you will live happily with your sons :) x

Thank you! I guess that's true. It was hard for a while, but I don't regret my path at all :)

I've known people that, like you and me, were unsatisfied, who were able to work it out. They say it's not really over until you have no emotion left, not even anger, because you can do something about even negative feelings.

My husband wants to work it out. But he's done a lot of wrong in such a short time period, it's hard for me to trust him, or believe that all my time and effort will not be wasted. I'm not mad about it, just confused in a time where I honestly question if I loved him in the first place.

It sounds like you could both use some real life help, counseling, maybe. I do believe it works, with the caveat that we tried it and I still left him! Mostly, he had no interest in things working, just a lazy and selfish person.

I'm glad things are going well for you. Reading stories like this are comforting to me at a time when my own marriage makes me feel like I'll never be happy again.