I Starve Because It Works.

I absolutely hate being the fat friend, I'm 15 5'7 and i weigh 143 .. my goal is somewhere between 120-130. I hate that when I go to the mall with friends I always have to buy pants in a size 9 or up while they're getting upset about not being able to find a 00. I've never owned a bikini and it makes me so disgusted when my friends have such perfect bodies. I look at myself in the mirror and it only makes me want to starve more. If anything I'm optimistic about starving because it works. However I take it day by day drinking loads of water. It does get really hard especially when my mom is always bringing food home from work. I lock myself in my room to avoid the kitchen at all costs. In fact the only reason I go in there is to get water from the fridge. When i do find myself eating its very small bites of something that is already extremely low in calories such as 100 calorie snacks or fruit cups. I just feel that all my effort I put into eating is ruined when I take a bite out of anything. School starts back in a month so i wanna try to be around 130 by then. I absolutely hate when people keep telling me that i'll gain it back, I have restraint I think I can do this. I just finally want to fit into a size 3/5 , then I will be happy at least I think I will. But for now starving works so i'll continue regardless of what the people around me think, after all it is my body.
ndayaisbeast ndayaisbeast
22-25
4 Responses Jul 28, 2010

i hope our encouragement helps. stay active, try to find a favorite food that keeps you satisfied that doesn't make you gain but gives you energy like peanut butter sandwiches and fruit. those foods might not fill you up but they'll give you energy and health and help your brain and emotions relax so that you won't be having terrible cravings and emotionally you'll be better able to endure the peer pressure! keep up the great work!

i totally agree with what you're saying<br />
i'm trying to lose 15 pounds before school starts which is in a month and 2 weeks<br />
maybe even more ounds than that if i can<br />
good luck!

hey! you should message me!

I just finally want to fit into a siz 3/5, then I will be happy.<br />
<br />
Not really.<br />
<br />
It's nicer 2b thinner, as long as yr mind is free to concentrate on something more meaningful about life.