Starving

I look in the mirror and feel ashamed. I don't want to have thighs like mine, my friends say im skinny but I know there wrong. I don't eat for weeks at time then spend a day just pigging out. with every mouthful I hate myself that little bit more after ive ate I spend an hour trying to make myself sick but no matter how far I stick my fingers down my throat it doesn't make me sick. And then I have to deal with the guilt of eating so much, and I lie in bed awake planning on how im going to hide my next 2 weeks of starving from my mum. But deep down I know she wont notice even if I told her straight out she wouldn't notice. She'll reply with so you will babysit tonight thx love as if she was listening and knew what i was talking about. The weird thing is when my best freind says to me your starving yourself I feel on top of the world as I sit there denying it. lying to her and in some ways to myself.
Sian987654321 Sian987654321
13-15
May 5, 2012