i'm writing because i am very confused about starving myself. i used to be bulimic but not for a long time now and i feel like i'm gaining weight. i've only thrown up once yesterday because i had two slices of pizza at work so i went into the employee bathroom and puked. i've done it now for about a week or more i guess i lost track. well i went to visit my mom and my sister they said i look a lot skinnier i like skinny i weigh 150 i have prolly lost more weight i was 160 its been about two days since i weighed myself. but i wake up with headaches and i always feel like throwing up when its time to go to sleep or in the mornings. i want to be skinny everyone loves skinny i don't want to be bones no just a size five and i'll be satisfied. i have this sister who has like the perfect body barbie doll i swear and she always says i'm fat and i really don't think i'm real fat but i am tall that could be why i way so much, ok well i'm not that tall but taller than your average girl. . . i have a boyfriend and he loves me and we are pretty muched married we have our own apartment and have been together a long time. . . he always tells me i'm sexy and so on and so forth but i want to feel sexier and i think that would be skinnier. . . and even though i have a boyfriend i always want attention from other guys like so i know i look good . .. my sister is only 14 but she looks 18 and a lot of guys love her body and she gets all the attention. . . and she steals all the guys i like maybe thats why i'm doing this to myself i think its just i hate myself . . . i always push my boyfriend away and i tell myself he don't love me and i should just leave him but i think its all in my head. .. ne way does ne one have ne good starve yourself helpful tips??