I Starve Myself
im 15 5'4, and im currently around 195pounds. i used to be 211, i know that that isnt alot of wieghtlose, but to me it is. i want to get down to 130, before i start high school, with is in about a month & ahalf.
I hate that im the FATTEST in my family, it is so depressing. ive been fat all my life, my name is cali, so ofcourse people would call me cowi. which i tried to hide my pain everytime someone called me that. I act like a dont care how people think of me but i care so much.
when i was younger(around 8or10) my mom made me workout, but nothing worked, so my mom hide sweet food from me, which only made me want food even more, anyway i was young so i didnt care what i looked like or what i weight.
i hate going to malls, cuz all my friends are skinnier, so they walk into stores like, ambercrombie,or other stores for skinny people, and while everyones looking at clothes i just stand there like a fatass,looking lost.
my first experience with weight loss over not eating was when i was sick a couple months ago and i didnt eat for 3 days. well after i decided to step on the scale and i relized i lost 6pounds over 3days of no food. so im currently not eating which is working.
what i do, if thirsty, drink water, if hungry,drink water.
when hungery, drinking water kinda helps the pain go away, because the stomach think that something is there,lol weird but atleast for me it works.
i hate how everyone i know has/had a boyfriend.
i havnt been to any of my middle school dances because im just ashamed.
people call me fat or, they dont say the word fat,but we all know what they are trying to say.
A girl calling you fat or ugly, it hurts but you get over it.
A boy calling you fat or ugly, hurts forever.
when i a guy called me fat and ugly, a had to walk away because tears were already coming out, i cry all the time because of the way i look.
i just want to be skinny, maybe then i will be happy.
my worst fear is nobody falling in love with me, and i will be alone.
i HATE when im around skinny girls and they say to themselves "ugh i feel so fat''. in my head im just like ''yeah, i WISH i looked like you''
i HATE when people think they know how fat people feel. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what we go through daybyday. we may look happy, but we are DYING inside. everytime i hear the word ''fat'', i just cry inside.
i try starving but its hard to do it when my stepmom is always telling me have to eat someting, just stop. i act like im not hungry, but im starving.lol.
well im just not eating, hopfully i do lose weight, and when i get to the point were i thing a starved enough for th period of time, i will eat healthy.
before the starving, i used to eat ALL DAY NOTSTOP, but then as time pasted i began just not being hungry, didnt eat as much. next i was down to 1meal aday. then a small snack aday. now no food, and my weight is dropping!!! hope i wilo be pretty&skinny.
NO FOOD!!!!!
THNKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ SOME OF MY STORY ;')
I hate that im the FATTEST in my family, it is so depressing. ive been fat all my life, my name is cali, so ofcourse people would call me cowi. which i tried to hide my pain everytime someone called me that. I act like a dont care how people think of me but i care so much.
when i was younger(around 8or10) my mom made me workout, but nothing worked, so my mom hide sweet food from me, which only made me want food even more, anyway i was young so i didnt care what i looked like or what i weight.
i hate going to malls, cuz all my friends are skinnier, so they walk into stores like, ambercrombie,or other stores for skinny people, and while everyones looking at clothes i just stand there like a fatass,looking lost.
my first experience with weight loss over not eating was when i was sick a couple months ago and i didnt eat for 3 days. well after i decided to step on the scale and i relized i lost 6pounds over 3days of no food. so im currently not eating which is working.
what i do, if thirsty, drink water, if hungry,drink water.
when hungery, drinking water kinda helps the pain go away, because the stomach think that something is there,lol weird but atleast for me it works.
i hate how everyone i know has/had a boyfriend.
i havnt been to any of my middle school dances because im just ashamed.
people call me fat or, they dont say the word fat,but we all know what they are trying to say.
A girl calling you fat or ugly, it hurts but you get over it.
A boy calling you fat or ugly, hurts forever.
when i a guy called me fat and ugly, a had to walk away because tears were already coming out, i cry all the time because of the way i look.
i just want to be skinny, maybe then i will be happy.
my worst fear is nobody falling in love with me, and i will be alone.
i HATE when im around skinny girls and they say to themselves "ugh i feel so fat''. in my head im just like ''yeah, i WISH i looked like you''
i HATE when people think they know how fat people feel. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what we go through daybyday. we may look happy, but we are DYING inside. everytime i hear the word ''fat'', i just cry inside.
i try starving but its hard to do it when my stepmom is always telling me have to eat someting, just stop. i act like im not hungry, but im starving.lol.
well im just not eating, hopfully i do lose weight, and when i get to the point were i thing a starved enough for th period of time, i will eat healthy.
before the starving, i used to eat ALL DAY NOTSTOP, but then as time pasted i began just not being hungry, didnt eat as much. next i was down to 1meal aday. then a small snack aday. now no food, and my weight is dropping!!! hope i wilo be pretty&skinny.
NO FOOD!!!!!
THNKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ SOME OF MY STORY ;')
By:
deleted
Age:
26-30
