Being Fat Has Always Made Me Feel Unwanted....

well, im new here, and i read a few stories that made me cry....point blank... i have always been heavy.. i had a lot of problems because of my weight...my family puts me down, boyfriends from the past-present has done that as well...people in general.. ive tried almost everything, including starving myself...but nothing seems to work. its makes me cry, i get very depressed and very emotional when
i see others enjoying life, living thin, while i sit here and dwell in the pain of being fat...
i tried killing myself many times, and hurting myself so i dont have to deal with this emotional disturbance
no one likes me...ive been made fun of for years by everyone that i can think of...if it wasn't them being straight forward...they were doing it behind my back or in subliminal messages... i really and truly hate myself....i dont know how to even be happy anymore...
i started smoking heavily....weed and cigarettes... and i have finally got back to starving myself...
I am 5'4 255 pounds...i am a whale...a hippo...and ******* waste of space...hope starving myself dis time works...cause if not... well....


-_-