Day One, I Will Be Beautiful.
I have never felt I am worth anything throughout the course of my life and when I was young I would eat because there was no one there to care. When it became a problem my step father told me if I continued to eat the way I did I would be as big as a house, the only response I had was to hate myself and eat more. Slowly from about fifteen to now I have been exorcising and fighting to loose the weight I gained from childish spite. Now there will be no turning back, I am disgusted every time I look into a mirror and ashamed when I think of the people I am attracted to because how could they ever want someone as fat and ugly as me? I'm done with being fat, I weigh 200 pounds and I'm sad to say I have weighed more, no more though. No more will I see a fat ugly girl where I should be, even if it kills me. No one is here to tell me to stop and no one cares enough to see me so **** it, if they don't care why should I? I refuse to be that one fat chick when everyone else is so much smaller than me, I will either get thin and call myself beautiful or die trying.