Fat

I am sick of being fat. Whenever I feel I eat too much, I feel terrible about myself. I lost over 40 pounds since last March (I've been on break from weight loss since the end of August). I am going to lose at least ten more during winter break. Last summer, I was very strict with myself, which is how I lost most of my weight. I've been eating a lot more than usual, and it scares me, especially since I plan to lose weight this month. I also will probably keep it up if I can during college.

I cannot put up with myself, anymore, if I remain fat. I was bullied throughout my entire life for my weight, so when I was in eighth grade I decide to eat less than 1000 calories (usually 600-750). That's what I did this time, too. I remember when I lost over twenty pounds before prom that I heard someone talking to their friend about how I was fat. I just want to prove them all wrong. 

I also remember during band practice that we had snacks and drinks. I ran toward the cart that had them but only because I was terribly thirsty. This obnoxious kid made a rude remark about it, so I just had my drink, even though I was a bit hungry.

When I am dieting, I love the feeling of hunger. It drives me to continue going hungry.