Since Wednesday of last week I have been starving myself. But and so far I have love five lbs, bringing me that much closer to my 90 lbs goal. I have never been sk determined in my life. I need this. I need control and perfection. My mother has been making me eat dinner lately though. But I just puke it up right after... and tonight she made fries.. and my stomach felt like it was going to explode... but I Puked it up anyway.. I need to figure out a way to not eat w/o her catching on.. ehh.. oh well.. only 200 calories retained today.. and I can always work it off tomorrow .. I realize no one cares or is reading this.. but I like getting it out there anyway..
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4 Responses Jan 27, 2013

I know this may seem good right now but once you start there's no turning back. Trust me, I've been down that road and I regret every purge, every day I starved myself and every time I refused to eat. Once you go that far your body will just gain back more weight then you've lost when you actually start eating again. And if you never eat again your body will slowly digest itself to death...

I too started Weds! Stay thin all your life because it is more challenging with each decade.
I eat 500 calories of food a day and liquid supplements high in protien so I don't lose my hair or nails.
Best of luck to you. I too have lost 5 lbs since Weds.

Babe I'm starting to do this to myself tomorrow and I need help x your so determined I want to be like you! please help me any advice? please xx

I realize nothing I say or write will make a difference to you because I certainly never listened to any cautions when I began, but, you'll understand soon enough the terrible consequences of this path. When your family finds out, they will be crushed and any trust they had with you broken completely. Your body will begin to shut down and absorb its own essentials to keep you alive. What you won't understand until too late is that this path is the exact opposite of control. We all start out confident in ourselves, but in the end you are bound like a marionette doll to the growing monster of this disease. I hope, for your sake, that you realize this sooner than I did and can seek asylum from yourself.