What If

The biggest question on my mind is always "WHAT IF?" what if i didn't reject the guy my heart belongs to just because he'd hurt me in the past? what if things had actually worked out, would it still be living in my mind? like a haunted shadow giggling behind every corner smirking at every door. The words tempt me into a hole of solid blackness, where no living creature has ever survived. Two simple words!! how silly is that, "WHAT IF, i had studied harder, i had said goodbye to my best friend before he left, i hadn't got mumps and actually got the chance to do it, i had changed the way i acted towards that one girl; would she still be leaving for france?!" it haunts me day and night, images of the 'possible' future flit before my wary eyes. Yet it is such a stupid way to think, it is a rut, a grudge. What if Adolf Hitler was never born, what if Nelson Mandela died in prison on Robbin Island. Why in god's name would anybody think like that, there is no future for a human in such a mental state of mind. Yet, in each psyche, in each deep subconscious (or at least in mine) two words silently wait and lie  
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1 Response May 20, 2012

i understand what you mean. just teh simple words "what if" send so many possible things that could happen swirling around your head. im dealing with oen fo those what ifs right now and really need somone to talk to but i dont got anyone. so i understand alot! it was very well written