I Need Your Opinion!

My boyfriend still lives in the home his 'baby mama' (ex) picked out when they were house-hunting several years ago. They lived there with their daughter and her son (from a previous relationship) for about a year. I've lived in that home with him too - for 2 years (along with his sister who was there before me, but that's another story). Him and I are currently living apart but working on things, he has the house back to himself, and we're talking about trying again...a fresh start.

My concern is that there's bad memories and energy in this home from his past with his ex, and also from our own challenges, and I just want to move into a new place together - that's both of ours and not "his" or "his with his ex" - you get the point.

Am I justified in feeling that I just want to get a place that's new to the both of us? How do I talk to him about this without coming across materialistic or giving him an ultimatum? I really want to give us a fresh start and the best chance of succeeding in our relationship....and truth be told, I have some fear about going back to the same environment where we messed up the first time.

I'd love your opinions.

Thanks,
Erika
Erika0112 Erika0112
31-35
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

talk to him! I know it's hard but try explaining how badly u want things to work with him & that u really think a fresh start is the best thing for it. Maybe u might have to compromise on this & renovate- keep in mind that house hunting AND renovating are both HUGE tasks to take on in any relationship, let alone one that is being repaired. If ur finding it hard to get ur feelings out either write it in a letter for him or make a video (this might be the way if u really want to point out the bad memories- eg. this is where....happened etc.) Depending on his feelings about this, get a priest etc. to cleanse & bless the house (be warned thou- I fell preg after our landlord had this done to our place- & I was told I couldn't have kids!!!) try writing all the bad memories down & then burning the list. Hope u get some comfort from something I've said. good luck