Reading Into a Melancholy Mood

I have no living children of my own although that is probably one of the biggest challenges in my life. So why do I have literally bookshelf after bookshelf of children’s books in my nursery? I always planned to marry a man that would want me to have his children. We would live in a modest home raising our children with values that were instilled in us growing up. We would lead a comfortable lifestyle. I would teach them to read at an early age and pass along my love of reading to them. My husband would coach their recreational league sports and I would drive the soccer mom van in the carpool. Some things really aren’t meant to be but I still have the many books I purchased for my “children.” Sometimes when I feel melancholy I will go to the nursery in my home and pick up “Stuart Little” or about “Laura Ingalls” and I will pile up on the top bunk bed to read for a short while. Before I know it a couple hours have passed and I have finished the book. Probably the reason that I love this so much is that it makes me think about my childhood. I’m not sure why I do it but I know it makes me a more balanced person.  One of my favorite pastimes is holding my niece on my lap and reading to her, although these days she is 7 and wants to read to me. She loves books and everyone says she is a “Mini Me.” When I hold up my baby pictures and hers you can’t tell us apart. The older she gets the more she picks up my mannerisms too. She will soon have a little brother or sister (less than 3 days from now) and we will start the cycle all over. I have purchased “Good Night Moon” …..“Berenstein Bears” …”The Beatrix Potter Series”….several “Dr. Seuss books and the Laura Ingalls Wilder series for the new baby. I will be waiting when they arrive from the hospital and I will sit there and rock the baby and read the books silently. Once she/he gets older I will spend a lot of time rocking and reading to her/him just like my mother/nana did for me. Yes the cycle continues.  
fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
46-50, F
28 Responses Feb 16, 2008