Well They Did Let Me Down

all the people who hurt me and let me down

I feel betrayed and its been a lesson I dont think I needed to learn

I felt angry by the way joyce, my relatives and the film group let me down

I felt sconed by the way the college let me down

it has not made me stronger ... but its taught me that I was right all along and I should not have let down my guard. I should not have let my grandmothers death upset me so much

I should not have talked to people or wanted to talk to people about what was going on in my life... I should not have let on to anyone I was feeling so down and suicidal or confused and hurt over my childhood ...all the abuse issues etc

I should not have thought a police officer would take anything I said seriously

I should not have expected joyce or relatives to understand about the abuse

I should not have expected rick to like me or care about me

I should never have told rick a thing about me

I should never have trusted Joyce
I should never have trusted Ken ... that vomit bucket viol thing it is ... what would make him think I even would want him in the first place...?and that spastic Leigh .... I do not want to see Ken or anyone from that ship ever again... that is if it was even a real ship that operated ...!
They have to pay ... Leigh has to pay for her wrong against me... as does Ken and the Rsl and navy and police and govt of qld... they have to pay.. and I do not wish to see that stinking dirty brain dead loser and that spastic kid of his...

I should have known William like his mother would never care for someone abused like me
lets face it I'm not black so my abuse does not even count... and I don't life in Tibet or Afghanistan or a warring nation... he will have to return all the things he stole from my room as well ... him and the bimbo from across the road... there was underwear and other notes they stole... and broke it ... Ive had my privacy and safety compromised too many times and he has gone too far getting people and girls who are complete dogs to abuse me...

I should not have expected the police to help me over katy bashing me or bill molesting me or ron sexually assaulting me....

what was I thinking to think Joyce would really care ? and provide me with a safe trusted space and her get the police in and make sure that I knew that pedo stuff was serious.

I'm sick of people acting over board over sensitive topics like child sexual abuse, HIV or drug addiction or job redundancy or murder or suicide ... and all they do is get irate and angry when you talk about it... I want to be around people who don't over react and who listen and say things like 'I UNDERSTAND... "

I dont want to know them or see them ... I just want to live my life my way now... !
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
Feb 23, 2012