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I Can't Stop Loving My Ex-girlfriend

It was my first relationship, and it may have been long-distance too, and now it's over. She said that it would be best that we stop talking anymore for a long time. No matter how much she cheated on me and did horrible things against our relationship, I have never stopped loving her and never even thought about cheating on her for anything.

She had sex with another woman in a school bathroom twice (who she had done this with many times before knowing me, but hadn't for over almost two years before then), cybered with 10-20 women on another website, wouldn't stop talking to an ex-boyfriend she hadn't talked to for over a year, no matter how uncomfortable it made me, and then "unintentionally" developed feelings for another guy who I was very jealous about since the beginning of our relationship who she started getting WAY too close to and I knew it this whole time (she was even telling him secrets and things about herself that she had never told even past exes before she told me).

... Yet I never was unfaithful to her and always told her how much it hurt. She still always said she was sorry and it was very stupid of her or she didn't think it would be like this between us. Like how she had sex with that girl in the bathroom because I knew she had done it with her years before, and it was just going to be a "last time", but no. I don't believe in that at all. She even cried and told me everything would be okay and that she was very sorry each time over and over again, and even though I tried to be firm on leaving her... I always forgave her anyways.

The worst I EVER did to her was watch **** or pretend to have a crush on another guy, which I confessed was a lie later, so she might start to show me she loves me again and feel sad about losing me. She stopped showing me any love spending more time with me than anyone or making me feel important or special.

The last thing she did against me were those unintentional feelings I mentioned, and she just decided that our relationship was too corrupted and that we should just stop being together because of how awful it is. And, what STILL bothers me inside, is that she is still talking to him anyways, even though she emotionally cheated on me with him and we both KNOW that he has feelings for her.

I still love her so much, and I don't want her to be sad, but she doesn't even act like she misses me. She knows I'm so heartbroken and lovesick, but she says she doesn't really let it get to her and she can still have a good day, and thinking about her laughing or going on webcam with him makes me hurt so much inside. I've been trampled over so many time and tossed around, and she gets so angry at me when I bring up my pain and tells me that I should be over it already because it was "the past". *sigh*.

I'm just so sad... so depressed... so lonely and unloved... I want my baby girl back, but I just wish she would love me the same way as she did in the beginning and be faithful to me. I don't want anybody else but her, but... It doesn't look like she feels the same for me anymore, or will ever again. ='(.

I am such a hopeless romantic...
BrianMinor25 BrianMinor25 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 4, 2011

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Brian, trust me there are worse things a girl can do... ,and love makes us blind....all i remember from my experience is being at home.....impatient waiting for her ....and bam!!! next day she totally forgot about me and when i tried 2 talk 2 her she laugh and .........is just even more painful to try to change her mind...everyone's mind is a different world and none can change the world...sometimes girls complain that us as guys treat 'em bad .....but when u give averything for 'em them ....they take advantage and go with someone that treats em bad and they like to be there idk what we should do...but i always think that the girl i love was taken by aliens and they clone her and left the mean one and took the perfect one.....stupid but it helps me...sometimes people have ambition either money ...clothing idk lots of stuff ......but when it comes to a legal status trust me people would do anything ....to be honest i live i the ghetto ....my legal status in complicated ....and ummmm im not a middle class person.....but even tho i thank god for putting me in this place bcause ....she ...teaached me alot .....sometimes she would ask me to go out to have dinner to a fancy place but u know it;s hard ........i never cared ....and idk how but i always came up with money to give her evrything..unconditionally...when she was sick i there ...noonelse ......when she sad i was there .....when i sad not her was there ....to buy her an ipod touch i had to stop eating for weeks and instead of taking the bus i would walk...i never told her that ...sometimes when her family didnt haad enough to eat ....i lied to her that i had plenty food but ididnt ....and gave her all had ...for her not be worry about them .....4 years doing stuff like that....i been all ao=round the city i live in... and every place i took her is in the city i guess i have 2 move out of the city .....she cheated on me more than 4 times and always denied me as her boyfriend but she claim to love me ..... and if u want 2 know what she trade me for ....she trade me for a waiter with a legal status ..plus money,car,and idk i guess good looking....all i have now is me and an old mp3 fill with music that reminds me of her .....i lost my apartment and evryone near me.....i guess i have stomach cancer ....and broken rip mind...even tho i dont ask people for money and all that stuff....i dont really mind im not even hungry i use the little i have to reach about how to stop feeling ....i dont want to kill my self because what ensures me that killing my self will make me feel better when not even in my dreams i cant stop thinking and feelling her ..........be strong and if you think she ll be willing to come back wait as i am waiting but try to gather somestuff to not welcome her with empty hands ......

Brian, trust me there are worse things a girl can do... ,and love makes us blind....all i remember from my experience is being at home.....impatient waiting for her ....and bam!!! next day she totally forgot about me and when i tried 2 talk 2 her she laugh and .........is just even more painful to try to change her mind...everyone's mind is a different world and none can change the world...sometimes girls complain that us as guys treat 'em bad .....but when u give averything for 'em them ....they take advantage and go with someone that treats em bad and they like to be there idk what we should do...but i always think that the girl i love was taken by aliens and they clone her and left the mean one and took the perfect one.....stupid but it helps me...sometimes people have ambition either money ...clothing idk lots of stuff ......but when it comes to a legal status trust me people would do anything ....to be honest i live i the ghetto ....my legal status in complicated ....and ummmm im not a middle class person.....but even tho i thank god for putting me in this place bcause ....she ...teaached me alot .....sometimes she would ask me to go out to have dinner to a fancy place but u know it;s hard ........i never cared ....and idk how but i always came up with money to give her evrything..unconditionally...when she was sick i there ...noonelse ......when she sad i was there .....when i sad not her was there ....to buy her an ipod touch i had to stop eating for weeks and instead of taking the bus i would walk...i never told her that ...sometimes when her family didnt haad enough to eat ....i lied to her that i had plenty food but ididnt ....and gave her all had ...for her not be worry about them .....4 years doing stuff like that....i been all ao=round the city i live in... and every place i took her is in the city i guess i have 2 move out of the city .....she cheated on me more than 4 times and always denied me as her boyfriend but she claim to love me ..... and if u want 2 know what she trade me for ....she trade me for a waiter with a legal status ..plus money,car,and idk i guess good looking....all i have now is me and an old mp3 fill with music that reminds me of her .....i lost my apartment and evryone near me.....i guess i have stomach cancer ....and broken rip mind...even tho i dont ask people for money and all that stuff....i dont really mind im not even hungry i use the little i have to reach about how to stop feeling ....i dont want to kill my self because what ensures me that killing my self will make me feel better when not even in my dreams i cant stop thinking and feelling her ..........be strong and if you think she ll be willing to come back wait as i am waiting but try to gather somestuff to not welcome her with empty hands ......

Brian, I know how much it hurts. I have been in exactly the same situation. If you show her how you feel in simple ways by your actions she may take notice and rethink things. You have to just be patient, show her you are willing to wait as she sorts things out. She will see that you are sincere and really care. It worked for me and I hope it works for you. If you want to talk about it some more just let me know.