I Can't Stop Loving My Ex-girlfriendIt was my first relationship, and it may have been long-distance too, and now it's over. She said that it would be best that we stop talking anymore for a long time. No matter how much she cheated on me and did horrible things against our relationship, I have never stopped loving her and never even thought about cheating on her for anything.
She had sex with another woman in a school bathroom twice (who she had done this with many times before knowing me, but hadn't for over almost two years before then), cybered with 10-20 women on another website, wouldn't stop talking to an ex-boyfriend she hadn't talked to for over a year, no matter how uncomfortable it made me, and then "unintentionally" developed feelings for another guy who I was very jealous about since the beginning of our relationship who she started getting WAY too close to and I knew it this whole time (she was even telling him secrets and things about herself that she had never told even past exes before she told me).
... Yet I never was unfaithful to her and always told her how much it hurt. She still always said she was sorry and it was very stupid of her or she didn't think it would be like this between us. Like how she had sex with that girl in the bathroom because I knew she had done it with her years before, and it was just going to be a "last time", but no. I don't believe in that at all. She even cried and told me everything would be okay and that she was very sorry each time over and over again, and even though I tried to be firm on leaving her... I always forgave her anyways.
The worst I EVER did to her was watch **** or pretend to have a crush on another guy, which I confessed was a lie later, so she might start to show me she loves me again and feel sad about losing me. She stopped showing me any love spending more time with me than anyone or making me feel important or special.
The last thing she did against me were those unintentional feelings I mentioned, and she just decided that our relationship was too corrupted and that we should just stop being together because of how awful it is. And, what STILL bothers me inside, is that she is still talking to him anyways, even though she emotionally cheated on me with him and we both KNOW that he has feelings for her.
I still love her so much, and I don't want her to be sad, but she doesn't even act like she misses me. She knows I'm so heartbroken and lovesick, but she says she doesn't really let it get to her and she can still have a good day, and thinking about her laughing or going on webcam with him makes me hurt so much inside. I've been trampled over so many time and tossed around, and she gets so angry at me when I bring up my pain and tells me that I should be over it already because it was "the past". *sigh*.
I'm just so sad... so depressed... so lonely and unloved... I want my baby girl back, but I just wish she would love me the same way as she did in the beginning and be faithful to me. I don't want anybody else but her, but... It doesn't look like she feels the same for me anymore, or will ever again. ='(.
I am such a hopeless romantic...
BrianMinor25 16-17, M 3 Responses 0 Sep 4, 2011