I Still Love You:(

My gf and I had strong love together 3 years proposed planned wedding went off collage dropped out came back my fionce miss me to much right before her 21 beat my parents told me were gunna pay for our wedding I was so excited money was only problem so I decided to throw a huge saprise 21 bday party for her i stoll her friends numbers told them had my homies help make hand dezined cards i went her school and work without her knowing giving cards all the wright people told them keep hush bout it .i baught all alcaholl hired bartender im carpenter built a bar all pro kept it all hidden kept my parents paying for wedding secret to tell her on bday make it that much better and a weak before the thing she cheats on me she called me over tells me I go home call her best friend to go see her we argued prety bad ..that friend already new tho aparently told my chick about the party said not to tell me that made big mistake and could still be happy well her concionce got to her .so go home grab 2 handles Jose gold and sky vodka drank both still walking still alive went to kill the guy cheated with I wasn't sure but had idea I figured if was wrong guy death would be on her .since she just told me a name but my brother stop me angree I punched tree shattered hand went ER now was cast 6 months I played Russian rulette a few times after that night lived hung my self and noos broke shot up speed ball enough to o.d. On lived obvious god want me alive I have save atleast 15-20 ppl since the break up I actually ended up doing her party fer her without ruining it untill like last 4 ppl her my 2 best buds me I was drunk got angree she was flirting my bestfriend Infront of me after all put me threw I threw a cooler didn't know what was in it patently 4 cases of glass un open shocktop new castle beer glass went every were scared **** out everyone friends ran gf apologized said wasn't what I thaught calm me down had makeup sex went bed I cleaned next day and told her bout wedding in calm manner she ran off crying I ended up getting hook on meth and smokiing lots and doing lots stupid **** on my motorcycle and my fav uncle died parents split all my love tour out of me found self homeless 6 months later trying to die unable to and in dark place were I was my child hood crush shows up just glowing .thaught were .what the **** are you doing here ...she walks up ses let me give u ride I said ok and she takes me my fav spot looks over ocean the moonlight bouncing off the water I told her she my angel she said no your mone and you have been a long time a tear fell first time I cried in 3 years it had been 11/2 years since break up I was homeless a year but when she found me was amazing we shared a kiss that made me glow for a weak now haven't seen her since 6 months later I'm in my room thinking bout ex fionce who I've wronged a handfull of times drugs lost mind.. went rehab clean 6 months relaps depressed sober no love no fam no friends my god kids in nother town I used and now today I have tons love my ex and even my crush but neither here and sad so I sit here alone smoking the one thing that makes you feel good as it takes your soul one friend and he does it 2 ..I'm literally an angel I just want to go back to angelic world no more hurt pain and suffering I'm in human form no better than or worse just lost my way even if left I'll still protect those I love Especialy my ex I look over her still without her knowing she can feel it tho .same time trying to clean up streets of some things I've said ..and roomers bout either us .. I love u dearly xo..
AngelTrey AngelTrey
22-25, M
1 Response Sep 14, 2012

wow you have been through the **** whole of life and back !! you just made me feel like a shining star !! wow

I'm glad it was able to help someone ..your awsome.. Muah blow you kiss ;-)

Aww thanks I don't know about awesome but thank you !!

Love you 2 .I lerned you can be as amazing as u believe u are ..like me I see the potential in lots and try to bring it out In them most do well if believe if not fail horrably lolling me I lost faith in myself so natraly I suck but I put faith in others still like my caz or my friends and they succeed not knowing how I'm doing I put up a good front ..only woman and children have the ability to see threw ..I'm 22 6"3' red rosey cheeks a sleeve on left arm appear to be gang tattoos but really tells story bout how saved my ex fionce from being raped and stood up to some gangsters I were street a tire skater shoes I look narley as can because I take weight off other ppl shoulders but yet I look this way and 4,5 year old lil girl will walk up to me hey mr I got a Loly pop from my mommy.and I'll talk her and moms never are alarmed caz they see the sweetheart shape face I'm a sucker for kids .i study cosmetology so I could some day have daughter and send her to school look nice not put pressure on the mom ..most dads dont know **** bout sending girl to school shoe on wrong foot hair messy not matching so moms do it not me ..I match things know braids .. That was my dream have a daughter .. Not gunna happen tho..

I didnt meen wright that much sry to much to say on this topic .. Hope not prob

hey you never know you are only 22 so much could happen lots of time !!! I am 31 and I still don't have kids , In fact I am getting my first dog tomorrow ! He is a mix 1 years old and today I ran around town trying to get all the things you need for a dog let me tell yeah wasn't easy but I did it !! you have ideas and dreams never give up on them ! We all get lost now and then oh trust me I have been lots for 15 years since I lost my brother to a car but I have managed to come full circle , I have won and I have lost but even now when I am sitting her with out a job at the moment I know I will get somewhere in this life it's just taken me a little longer then I had planned! I had my career set and last year at this time I was working and extremely happy now well long story !! But you see my point I hope !!

Got you !yea I get point sry here bout brother . Mine gunna die soon :( I'm good at dealling with stuff just not everything .I own a company I'm trying to start up were basically I'm gunna change street life for good once people here it see it it will Chang they will change lives will get better some will get famous ..my company( Neutral Ground Clothing )live the mentality ...

Its okay its been 15 years ! I am sorry about yours!! Well see you have a really great Idea there and I can tell you just may do some really great things and you know what when that happens things will turn around for the better and you will shine !!

That something I agree with It weird I have relaid fear so I don't get scared but have nightmares later so with this can put myself in any situation feerless so I have been narly fights weapons.saved girls .from stuff and tried to kill my self unable to die I believe it because my soul perpos in life is that company and my life will change derasticly as will people around me ..I believe in going to top alone sux and lonely so take my friends with me make money as I do

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