It Just Never Seemed To End.... So What Now.

This is a long story I imagine before I type it so I appreciate whomever makes it to the end. I have had (2) loves in my life. One was 15 years ago while we were both young. I know I loved her because to this very day I think about her, and sometimes wish I could be with her again. In between love #1 and love #2 I had some short term relationships, but I also had a marriage. That marriage produced three wonderful children, although I was NOT in love with their mother.

I was with my children's mother for (8) years and after so much turmoil and negativity I decided to file for divorce last October. Around the same time I reconnected with a high school crush on facebook. We hot it off instantly and I left my home and shortly thereafter moved in with my high school crush. Our relationship developed quickly and I fell madly in love with this woman, but I sensed she never was telling the truth to me.

Her marriage ended in divorce because of her cheating. I did not hold that against her because I myself had cheated too on my first love, but not my ex-wife. She then developed a relationship with a man at her mothers work, whom was deployed to Afganistan. She cheated on him a few times, she said this was because he was not there and he did not want her. It was not until her and I reconnected that he wanted her back, which may be the truth. Nonetheless she lived in his house, he provided for her and her three daughters and she left him high and dry and feeling used. She often complained to me about him and of course I took her side, but I now realize I may have been wrong.

We melded out two families together, (3) kids each all girls. About a month after we started dating (and living together) she went to her mother X-Mas party and never came home that night. She insisted she was staying with a friend, but this friend lived close to us so I still do not believe it. Moreover the first time she cheated on her ex was at her mothers x-mas party the year prior. I let it go, she tried to make it up to me and we moved passed it. Then she wanted to hang out with some guys from her moms work. She said the guys GF texted her but I later found out this to be a lie.

In April of this year we moved in with her mother in her big house to have money. She was horrible with money and I just could not keep up with her spending habits. Her daughters always needed the newest things. One night in June I caught her sexting a guy on FB. She claimed it was just harmless banter. After that we got in a fight about him and money and I left her mothers house. She later (by a few days) sent him naked pics of her (Which I found out later). Nevertheless I missed her so much so we got back together, only to break up again when I found out she was talking to a guy from high school named "D".

We talked about back together she wanted money obviously. I offered, we met for dinner which turned into sex. Right after while I was driving her home she was messing this "D" person on FB and lied to me and said it was someone else. We had a talk (2) days later and she said she wanted to start fresh and slow. This "D" person turned into a stalker, I mean hardcore. And she would not ignore him she said she could not be that mean. We moved passed that though, she did her thing I did mine.

Money was always an issue because she spent it faster than I could make it. You see she did not work and stayed home. I as a divorced dad only saw my girls on the weekends during the school year but all summer when they were out of school. They got attached to her and rightfully so, she was a decent step mom and they loved her.

We moved to a new house in September out of her moms house, and this was supposed to be good. a house where her kids went to school and close to everything she knew. It is not where I really wanted to move but it grew on me.

Then in October her no good friend came over one day while I was at work (who happens to live next to her ex-husband). They got a bit smashed and she started texting her ex through this friend and talking about working it out. The next day supposedly they had to talk about their daughters which involved a mortorcycle ride. I was furious and she said she had no interest and told me I was reading into it wrong... I did not think so.

She let that go than a week ago this guy from out HS sends her a message on FB. They talk that first night for over three house, than the next day and night for over 7 hours, then the next day for 6 hours. She said she only wanted him as a friend, but I was worried because of her track record. Finally one day while I was gone (4) days after she talked to him, she had him over. She kept talking to him and would not stop (this is all within 5 days). I put a screen logger on our laptop to see what she was talking about, I found BAD BAD things which nearly destroyed me. I confronted her, she got mad I put the screen logger on the computer. Never apologized only made excuses. The next day we broke up after a year!

We were engaged, we molded our families together and it has only been a week and she has already slept with him, had him over at my house in my bed and spent multiple days with him. I am lost on what I should be feeling, but I know it is sadness and hurt.

In my hurt I ran to my Love #1, whom I started talking to. She accepted me but it is still not the same because I love Love #2 and I cant seem to get past it. Granted it has only been 3 days now, but I just dont get how someone who is supposed to love someone so much can just move on so quick, am I missing something?
SDof3girls SDof3girls
31-35
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

SDof3girls, your story isn't really that long, but I read novels in one day if I'm interested. Anyway, you need time to yourself to deal with the situation and make decisions about how you are going to move forward with or without Love # 1 or Love # 2. Why drag Love #1 in this situation?