Funny how everything looks different in retrospect. It hurts, and i still want to go back to it.

Really, I know, it's not that I want him back, so much as I want to feel what I thought we had. The worst part is that I don't really feel betrayed by him, so much as by what I wanted to believe was there. Self-betrayal is the worst.

Now I'm terrified by the future. I don't know what there is left for me.
MarkingTime MarkingTime
41-45, F
2 Responses Oct 13, 2015

I so know this feeling - going back to feel the love, verify feelings, self convince that "we existed, love existed". Frantically running through the messages of his declaration of love, trying to grab that very last bita of hope.
That feeling alonness and sense of lost was so intense.

Ur not alone x