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Him..

ok well heres my story... About last year in november my friend went to a party and met this boy then they started becoming really close and she always would talk to me about him and i'd be like hmm yeahh awesome but really i had no interest what so ever, then an week later we both went to a party and there she was talking to him on myspace and i was like yepp cool so later i went home and just for an random add i decided to add him (but what i didn't know what i really was getting in to) he accepted my add then we started talking then texting and becoming really close (and i found out he looked at my profile when him and my friend were kinda close, i thought that was weird) then the next week my friend Laura asked this boy out Nathan and what he said suprised me, he said sorry Laura but i think i kinda have feelings for this other girl, a couple of days later he asked me threw text to go to the movies, i was like ok yeah =) when i walked in i saw him and this may sound so weird but i fell for him like that and the way he talked to me and everything but when we were in the movies i remember doing something not planed but embarrsensing, scary part came on and i slid down my seat and my hand just grabbed his, he thought it was the cutest thing to happen to him ever (so that was when we ment) after about a few days on november the 7th we started dating then about an month later he ended it, but then a few later we started dating again and then a month it ended but for good and we had so much fun, he just didn't feel the same anymore then i blame it all on me all the time, i like punish myslef for it and (it's kinda weird i never go back to the same boy but this was like i really was in love) from there it's been about 8 MONTHS from me not getting over him it's like i've been out with boys but this one is COMPLETELY different and it confusing me like i really didn't even know what i was getting myself into until now, for them months i have been threw so much pain and it's so hard people do say get over him but seriously everyday i pray to god for this all to end and i just want a new start just for everything to be erased for good but it still continues example right now i still love him, i never thought i'd ever become into this just meeting a random boy but now heartbrakes not even words could really make all this sense to this, i just really want help and it really bad now because we were bestfriends but we always seem to fight because i get jealous with the girls he hangs around with and i've tried falling for someone else but it doesn't work i always seem to run back to him and it's been so long i never ever in my life has waited or chased a boy but this is just strange and weird to me and i don't want to feel it anymore it's like everytime i see him or hear his name my heart goes faster and faster, i just really want this to go away i can't take the pain anymore and even now i still love him also his changed into a completely different person maybe if i didn't ask him to come to my school he wouldn't of change into something he shouldn't be i miss his old self so much but some how i still love him, please tell me your storys or help in anyway because i really don't want this to continue and sometimes i think this is what God has installed for me to get me to understand heartbrake well i've really {had enough}

Niikii Niikii 16-17, F Sep 24, 2008

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