I'll Never Forget Him...

Every now and again I would think about him and remember all the wonderful times we had. What upsets me is that it had to end. 

If you have read my previous story, you will see how hard it is for me to trust boys with secrets. 

We actually met on the internet at the age of 14 on a social/avatar website called IMVU. My cousin, Tezny, was 11at the time and just joined the site but put herself up as a 15 year old. She asked me to get her a boy on for her so I searched for one that was my age and invited him to the room. We started talking and he was a lot more interested in me. Told me his name was Michael. Tezny didn't seem to mind as she was only 11. I then added him on MSN and it turns out we didn't live far apart from each other. 

He suggested we should meet but I was warned about meeting strangers over the internet who sometimes pretend they're someone they're not. I told him the issue and to my surprise he was willing to show that he was who he says he was. He requested we both go on webcam and he was definitely a 14 year old boy. But he was so good looking... I couldn't believe it... He said that I was cute.
So I agreed to meet him in our town centre. I had mixed feelings the night before thinking 'I bet he will run after he sees how ugly I am'. We exchanged phone numbers also so during the night he kept saying how he was so excited to meet me. 
I was expecting the meeting to be full of long silences and awkward. But it wasn't. We talked a lot about our lives and sharing interests. I learned a lot about him that day and was out talking to him for 8 hours! And when we had to split he texted me straight after asking when we can meet again. 

After about of month of constant contact and exchange of texts, I realized we had a connection but I dare mention it to him as I thought he might get scared of me having some attraction to him. 
I had to go down south for the weekend (Fri-Sun) and he told me to meet him at a nearby field before (Thursday afternoon) I leave and he said that he would miss me whilst I was away. We texted half way through the journey before my credit ran out. He texted me on Friday afternoon when he said he had a school trip asking 'have you ran out of credit?' But I told him I get free texts on weekends. Turns out I was wrong and ended up turning my phone off the whole weekend. 

He was on my mind the whole weekend and when Monday morning came, I remembered I left my phone in my bag so I switched it on whilst getting ready for school. I then felt it vibrate on the floor and flipped it open to see this message 'Michael: I don't know why you are ignoring me Gemma but I really really like you. My heart is in your hands'. I remember crying because I was happy and sad at the same time. Someone I liked actually liked me back. I was then reminded that we had planned to meet up the day before I left after school. I was reminded from him when he sent one after school 'Michael: I'm still meeting you where we planned, I hope you show :('
I ran all the way home and got changed quickly before I ran out the door again. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Then I saw him and ran in for a hug. I was scared of losing him because I trusted him. On that day he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. 
He was my first valentine, my first kiss, my first love... 

It's been 3 years since we broke up and the last time we spoke was November 2011. I hate how close we used to be but now were just distant friends. It still hurts quite a lot but I would never tell him how much he hurt me by leaving me. I'm over it, but at the same time I'm not. But I really wish I could tell him how much he still means to me.
Gemz2411 Gemz2411
22-25, F
1 Response Apr 26, 2012

I know how you feel... I am still in love with my ex.<br />
We were together for 4 years, and broke up 8 years ago. <br />
I am married now, but not happily. I am still in Love with my first true love :( <br />
<br />
do you still live close? Just tell him how you feel, you never know he may feel the same.

We still live close. We actually go to the same college but him being academically one year older then me he leaves college this year. I rarely see him around college but when I do, I try so hard not to look at him but the last time I saw him, he was across the road walking with his friend, saw me and I saw him and smiled at me.
You can not believe how my stomach felt like there were butterflies inside fluttering inside.

I'm in a relationship but the boyfriend keeps playing with my heart. I would have left him by now but I feel if my ex boyfriend found out I broke up with him he would still think I love him. If I stayed in the relationship, he'd stay and not feel like I'll burst out my feelings to him.
He actually texted me yesterday! I was at my most happiest.