Loving An Ex

What is about love that drives us crazy.  We embarass ourselves daily  and don't even realize it.  I lived almost my whole life not knowing what love really is.  All I know is love is magic pure and simple.  It is the one thing we live for but when we have it  we don't appreciate it.  When it goes we miss it more than anything in the world.  It makes us  crazy and makes us do crazy things.  It makes us stalkers and maniacs, yet we are all good people.  For something so beautiful it is so damn complicated.  Love can lift you up and it can slam you down.  Being in love is like flying, soaring higher and higher into air.  When it goes you feel like you are falling over and over again.  Like I said it makes you do stupid things you wouldn't normally do.  My own stupid moment I bought thousands of dollars of love spells online trying to win back lost love.  But who am I kidding, love is the only magic there is.  There is the love of woman, the love of a man, the love of a parent the love of a child, the love of a loyal pet, even the love of your favorite food.  But let me tell you when you know you are love don't waste it, it is too beautiful to lose.  I don't know how long it will take me to find love again, I did it once, but can I even try.  When I met my first love it seemed so perfect, been then the world kept on breaking through and trying to steal it from us.  It made feel jinxed and cursed.  Love, love, boy does Cupid know how to make me crazy.  It makes me go on facebook and see if the ex is okay but to be broken hearted because she has moved on.  He makes think that four months after the break up she still loves me.  Boy Cupid if you are real I would like to sock you in the nose.  I don't regret much in life, but the lose of love.  To be in love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, to be out of love is the loneliest place to be.  Only to have just one more day with that beautiful woman that I love, but it is not meant to be.  It was love that made me drive 2000 miles to be with you just once, it was love that made me use my savings to make your family happy.  It was love that made me stay longer than I should have.  It is love that makes me weep for you.  It is love all around.  I know I'm sappy but that is love.  Love made me concoct a scheme to ask you to marry me.  I had it all planned out.  On Christmas day you would have found a huge box under the tree.  Marked to Tammy from Tom.  You would have torn through the paper and ripped open the box.  Inside you would have mounds and mounds of newspaper.  You would have dug through it looking for your gift.  But no it wouldn't have been there you would have found a note.  A note written on the best paper I could find, in my best penmanship.  The note would have said I bet you thought your gift was here but if you turn around you will see me standing there with my hand behind my back.  The real gift is there and in my chest.  Then I would have bent down on one knee in front of your three girls.  I would have said Tammy I didn't have much money for Christmas, but I have to gifts for you one is my heart hoping you will never break and the other is this a beautiful ring for the most beautiful woman in the world.  I know I can be a jerk and I know I can be a bear.  But you complete me and make me smile.  You make me happy when I am down, you make sad when you frown.  You make me sing and dance and turn into a clown.  But most importantly I want you to let me make you my own.  Tammy I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy and spend the rest of my life loving you and only you.  Then I would have asked you to marry me.  It would have been perfect, I still dream of that day like it really happened.  But no cupid had other ideas.  Instead we got hit by so much turmoil.  Too many people sought to bring us down and they won, now you are gone and you took my heart with you.  If I never get the opportunity to love again, I wish for you to know that I always have and always will love you more than anything in the world.  See love, I so desperately want to say what is it good for but I can't.  All I can say is I wish she still loved me now.  On the bright side you found true love somewhere else, and of course my brother is happy again.  No longer is his ugly disabled brother in love.
thomasriley99 thomasriley99
31-35, M
5 Responses Jul 19, 2010

I know what you mean. I still have lots of love for her. She left me after 8 years of marriage and 4 children. I want her back but she don't want to. Thousand of emotions and feelings.

Thank you well said I feel the same way. Anymore I feel more bitter than anything else. I don't even know what to make of her anymore. She isn't the same person I met last year.

and i want to say that yes real gift is in the heart sure!!

can imagine how u are feeling because and i feel the same....<br />
i always wonder...must i feel happy for that i know what true love is..that i met it and i have it in my heart..many people never know what is that true deep love,..eventhough they arent alone....but with some one. True love is a gift of God and some die without knowing what that love is...i lost my love but now i know that my man is not only imagination but he is real,,,he exist, that i will love him always and i will be faithfull to my feelings eventhough it may sound silly and not logical. he is happy now with his love.....must i be grateful that i was happy. that i met him or...........i dont know before i didnt truest anyone and never loved so much..but now i feel like my life is ruined forever and i dont need anyone esle. i believe there is just one true love for everyone, just one person who is your half as they say...i cant be with any other man and now i feel so hurt.........may be better if i never met him i, i never had such pain......i dont know..i am between those 2 opinions........

Thank you i spent a year trying to think of how to make if perfect. I was supposed to move to Texas where she was at in May, but she broke up with me the week before. The day i was supposed to arrive at her house I found out she was dating a Jamaican guy about 40 years old with a rocking body. I was going to propose to her that day too.