Hate That I Do

he cheated  on me - i still love him
we hooked up last weekend, he was acting like the guy i loved,i fell for it. I'm waiting for a call i know will never come.
I even went as far as to contact him... for sex?! 
 i hate that im doing this to myself. he talks in such a mean way sometimes and i know thats not really him
he acts like such a jerk until hes with me, and then its like he lets his defensive side down
 i hate that i still crave  those moments
i hate everything about this


anniebean anniebean
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

I think I understand... I have been split up with the father of my my two children for 14 years and recently we started seeing each other secretly... my family and even our children don't want us together! Also he has a girlfriend. I felt bad at first, but I am so comfortable with him and the sex is awesome... maybe because we have to sneak now... but I've loved him for 22 years... even when he cheated on me and I thought I hated him... I never could see not spending my life with him. Maybe we are just crazy... but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.