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I Still Love My Ex Boyfriend

5 years have passed since I ended the relationship with him. He was miserable being so far apart from me. I was naive, stupid, and too scared to leave my life behind and start a new one with him.

After 5 years i still think about him everyday. Somehow he will cross my mind at least once a day. Up until a month or two ago, I simply thought about him and reminisced about our time together and let it slip back into the darkness of my subconscious, but now it is starting to overtake me. I think about him more and more. My desire for him is welling up inside me building pressure.

I'm starting to obsess over him. I lay awake at night unable to let my mind rest long enough to fall asleep. I plan ways to drive north to see him. Following the street views on google maps along the interstates in a strange attempt to calm my unrest.

I watch his facebook profile observing the limited information offered through not being his friend. I piece together what his life must be like now. He seems well off. As far as I can tell he doesn't need me in his life.

I hope someday soon I can build up the courage to contact him, tell him how i feel, apologize for my stupid mistake so many years ago, and maybe give me another chance.

We were so happy together... maybe we can be again.
Lamentation Lamentation 31-35 Aug 15, 2012

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