Kinda Still Love Him

Ok so me and my ex had a long distance relationship after knowing each other a year...which is what most my stories are about mostly all him... he was in the military,it just wasnt the right time for us to be together I guess and we broke up.

I loved him so much then but he wasnt ready to return the feelings.

now we been broken up almost 4 months and we still talk and are still friends. but he has told me more then once now he loves me and reasons why which he wasnt able to do before. we video chatted on skype tonight it still gives me that comfy good feeling in my stomach and he said he loved me which made me smile.

I text him later and told him I love him too which ive said before but not in those direct words since we were dating.

I asked him what will happen if he gets a girlfriend he said he didnt think about it.

Now im more worried about him if I get a boyfriend. For us to be together I just dont think its possible even though half of my heart thinks i want him and in a perect world we could be, but I dont think my heart can handle waiting for him for 3 years he has left because what if he goes back to the way he used to be not letting me in or showing he cares or i guess im just afraid I wouldnt be able to handle it and then what if after 3 yrs he doesnt wanna be with me anymore and im not in love with him anymore, so part of me wants to keep things on a friendship level and move on but tonight i actually text the words back to him and im like what the heck am i doing that for.

its like I need his approval to move on so i know he will be ok with it.

but tonight he basically said things....he has no interest in dating someone else I dont think.

so um yea thats mine.
deleted deleted
26-30
Dec 2, 2012