I Don't Know What Happened...

i met my ex boyfriend last year in gym class. he was such a weird kid, he had facial piercings and always wore his hair in front of his face. i though he was so strange for hiding behind it. to me it was stupid, especially this one day i saw a picture of him. his hair was out of his face and all of a sudden i though "wow! he is really cute". just by seeing his face, even if it was indirectly, kinda led me to have this crush on him. somewhat like love at first sight. i didn't really think anything of it until one day he said that he wanted to hang out. i had never had a boyfriend, and was still used to guys not liking me, but i guess this kid was into whateverthehelliwas. we hung out one day. we were supposed to go on a run because he was really into track, but we ended up just chilling outside and talking about ourselves. i was so oblivious that he liked me until he and his friend who had a thing for my friend wanted to hang out with us.

that led to me deffianatley liking him. we cuddled and told eachother stories that night that we all hung out. it was so sweet. that summer seemed perfect until he went to hawaii for a xcountry trip. we lost touch of eachother although i never really stopped liking him.

months later i ran into him at school. it was the most akward thing ever. i hadn't seen him in forever and we didn't leave off that nicely. i don't know how it started but one day my friends and his friends all started hanging out. it was perfect. he had two bffs, i had two... it all worked out. we all had a thing for someone in this group. then in october he asked me out! i was so happy, i finally had him...

things went well for the next few months. we had a few little fights but nothing that we couldn't get passed. then at the end of december one night he told me he loved me. it was very surreal, and i told him that i loved him too.

i don't know how things spiraled down hill. after we confessed our love we had sex for the first time. he wasn't a virgin, but i was. i don't regret it. we may have ben young but i wouldn't take it back. we loved eachother so much and we were so consumed in it we had to show it in the most physical was possible.

then we started fighting. jeleous "friends" of mine who i had trusted since kindergarten started all this drama and made rumors trying to break us up. i grew to be so paranoid and doubtful all the time. it made us fight so much. it didn't help that he wouldn't spend as much time with me and on weekends he wouldn't want to hang out with anyone but his friends. we still were convinced that we loved eachother, but i just didn't think he cared about me at all. he never asked how my day was and didn't pay much attention to me when i was acting bummed out.

just a few nights ago he broke up with me after our worst fight yet. he didn't want to be with someone who couldn't believe him when he said i love you. i feel so stupid now for what happens and it broke my heart when he demanded that i gave back the necklace he got me. then to make it worse he ripped up a picture of us that we took and gave it back to me along with all the notes i wrote to him. it was like i never meant anything to him.

i think the part that kills the most is that 6 months of dating he had to do it over texts, not to mention him saying that he hates me because "i let him break up with me..."

i don't want to call him my ex. it doesn't feel right especially when i still love him and we haven't been apart for too long. i'm so scared that he'll get over me like he said he would. i just want to be back with him...

helloseattle helloseattle
1 Response Mar 25, 2009

It was the sam thing with my ex. Hair in his face, facial piercings. At first he was so loving, he wasn't a virgin, I was. I let him take it. I thought he didn't care so I told him. then he actually stopped caring. It happened yesterday so I'm just trying to surround myself with friends