It's Not Even Been A Year...

I haven't been with her for very long, but i feel like i've known her forever and i love her beyond all measure(even that of time). I feel like a giddy little boy whenever i'm with her, and even after all that we've been through and all the pain and grief and worry that we've caused each other, she's still the only one that can make me feel like myself -- like i'm ancient and undeniably real. I still literally jump for joy, whenever i get a call or text from her, and i can still talk to her for hours on end, even though we know so much about each other, because there's always something more, and we don't mind hearing what we've already heard before, either way. I'm still happy just to sit by her or breath her same air, even if i've done so more times that i can hope to remember. I write to her every day, and even after the countless letters and poems and songs i've written for her, there's always that same feeling i had from the very first time, when i first told her how much i love her, but now i love her even more. And more, and more, and more with everyday. I can never forget the moment we met, and the first time we really talked, or sat together, or held hands, or kissed, or the first time she said "i love you", and definitely not the first time i really felt that she did. I'll never forget how it felt to see her with someone else, or hear her cry and yell, or see how upset and quiet and distant and sad she can be. But i'll especially never forget the first time she came to me for comfort, and told me her secrets, and forgave me for everything and let me be there for her again so i can tell her that she has nothing to ever be sorry for. I'm lucky to have my first love be the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. But i'd be glad just to have her at all, even if she was my last(which i hope she'll be anyways) and i wouldn't mind at all if i was number 100,000,000,000,000,000,004 for her. But, i'm pretty sure i'm her first too(even if she did go out with someone else before me). It can be hard sometimes, and it has been hard to get to the point where i can believe i'm her first love too, but i wouldn't have had it any other way. I've seen her at her best and her worst, and because of it i've been able to catch a glimpse of what lies beyond perfection. I still love my first love, and i'll do all i can to make sure that she'll be my last.
caeruleus caeruleus
18-21, M
Jul 9, 2012