I Still Love Her

 We met when we were babies. I was about 6 months old, and she was 4 months old. We lived across the street from each other until I was about 9, when my family moved to another area of the city that we lived in. We didn't see each other for a few years, but she was never far from my mind. After I got my drivers license, I would drive over to see her and her family.

 When it came time for my prom, I was a horny teenager and asked someone else to go with me. She turned me down in such a way that not only didn't I ask someone else to go with me, nor did I even go to the prom. It was later that I learned that my first love had waited for me to ask her. I regretted hearing that, as I then realized that she owned my heart.

 A few years after i got out of school, I moved across country. I knew that I needed to get away from my friends and family in order for me to mature. After a couple of years, I returned on a visit and while I was there someone told me that she was in town also. I gave her a call, as I was heading somewhere and thought that if I brought her with me, it would give us some time to talk and catch up with each other. I made the call, and while we were talking, I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said "Yes". I went over and off we went to talk, but we never spoke of the question that was asked. We stayed in touch for a few years, then I got a letter from her telling me that she was pregnant by someone else. I was hurt, and I knew that I was losing the one that I loved.

 I didn't return to my hometown for a few years, but when I did a welcome back party was thrown. My friends and family came, along with friends that I had from the area that I had moved to who had moved to my hometown. I suddenly looked up at one point, and she was there. I hugged her and we sat and talked. It felt so good to be with her, but I knew that she was married with children.

 About a year ago, I went back to my hometown for my grandfather's funeral. A few days after the service I was sitting in church with my father when his cell phone rang. Service hadn't started yet, and I hear him say her name. Now my father knows a ton of people, and I figured that it was one of them. My father hands me the phone, and it was her. I went outside we spoke. We made plans to get together with as many of us from the old neighborhood as possible.

 I was sitting in one of the bedrooms of my father's house, when I heard the doorbell. I hear my father greeting some people, and figured that it was just more people coming over about the death my my grandfather. A minute goes by and my father calls up to me to come down. I came down to see her and her brother. Her brother was my very first best friend, and I hadn't seen him since I was a teenager. Him and I sat down and we talked. He introduced me to his son and her son. After a while her and the boys went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I got up and went into the kitchen.

 We did some small talk, then she asked me if I was married and had any kids. I told her no, then told her that I never had because of her. She smiled and then asked me why. I knew that what I would say wouldn't get her to leave her husband for me, nor was that my desire, but I had to be honest with her. I told her that the reason I never had was because of her, and that with every female that I had interest in that I compared them to her. I then told her that I know that if we had gotten married back when I had asked her, that we would be divorced by now, and it would of been my fault. She smiled and said that things would of worked out for us, then I quickly jumped in and told her that even though I had never met him, she married the right guy. We talked for a while, and once all had arrived, we all went out to get something to eat.  We sat across from each other and talked.

I called her not to long ago because I wanted to send her an email and needed her address. With what should of been a conversation that took a minute or two, we ended up talking for about an hour. We both had to get back to what we had been doing before I called, then she said something that made me realize that I was still in love with her. She said "I Love You". I told her to tell her son that I said Hi and hung up the phone. It was then that I realized that I was still in love with her.

Outside of the fact that i am VERY SHY when it comes to trying to start a relationship with a lady, I have given up even trying. I also know that deep in my heart I will always love my first love.


RedDwarf RedDwarf
51-55, M
6 Responses Aug 16, 2008

omg...I think my heart just died.

It's just heartbreaking :'(

What a beautiful and sad story at the same time. She's such a lucky person. Maybe you'll still be together. But you have to find somebody else that makes you happy too.

that's utterly heartbreaking. I guess true love Is completely selfless, though.<br />
Heartbreaking, in a good sort of a way :)

I flew back about a month ago for one of my sister's wedding, and she came. It was really hard seeing her again, but it was good to see her again. We talked, but she is still clueless as to how much she still really means to me... Maybe next lifetime we will be together...

Wow. That was a really heartfelt story. Imagined it all as a sort of film. She must have really meant something to you!

I absolutely loved this story... it reminded me of mine... My heart was with you , hanging on every word. Love when its real love, its timeless.