I Still Love Her
We met when we were babies. I was about 6 months old, and she was 4 months old. We lived across the street from each other until I was about 9, when my family moved to another area of the city that we lived in. We didn't see each other for a few years, but she was never far from my mind. After I got my drivers license, I would drive over to see her and her family.
When it came time for my prom, I was a horny teenager and asked someone else to go with me. She turned me down in such a way that not only didn't I ask someone else to go with me, nor did I even go to the prom. It was later that I learned that my first love had waited for me to ask her. I regretted hearing that, as I then realized that she owned my heart.
A few years after i got out of school, I moved across country. I knew that I needed to get away from my friends and family in order for me to mature. After a couple of years, I returned on a visit and while I was there someone told me that she was in town also. I gave her a call, as I was heading somewhere and thought that if I brought her with me, it would give us some time to talk and catch up with each other. I made the call, and while we were talking, I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said "Yes". I went over and off we went to talk, but we never spoke of the question that was asked. We stayed in touch for a few years, then I got a letter from her telling me that she was pregnant by someone else. I was hurt, and I knew that I was losing the one that I loved.
I didn't return to my hometown for a few years, but when I did a welcome back party was thrown. My friends and family came, along with friends that I had from the area that I had moved to who had moved to my hometown. I suddenly looked up at one point, and she was there. I hugged her and we sat and talked. It felt so good to be with her, but I knew that she was married with children.
About a year ago, I went back to my hometown for my grandfather's funeral. A few days after the service I was sitting in church with my father when his cell phone rang. Service hadn't started yet, and I hear him say her name. Now my father knows a ton of people, and I figured that it was one of them. My father hands me the phone, and it was her. I went outside we spoke. We made plans to get together with as many of us from the old neighborhood as possible.
I was sitting in one of the bedrooms of my father's house, when I heard the doorbell. I hear my father greeting some people, and figured that it was just more people coming over about the death my my grandfather. A minute goes by and my father calls up to me to come down. I came down to see her and her brother. Her brother was my very first best friend, and I hadn't seen him since I was a teenager. Him and I sat down and we talked. He introduced me to his son and her son. After a while her and the boys went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I got up and went into the kitchen.
We did some small talk, then she asked me if I was married and had any kids. I told her no, then told her that I never had because of her. She smiled and then asked me why. I knew that what I would say wouldn't get her to leave her husband for me, nor was that my desire, but I had to be honest with her. I told her that the reason I never had was because of her, and that with every female that I had interest in that I compared them to her. I then told her that I know that if we had gotten married back when I had asked her, that we would be divorced by now, and it would of been my fault. She smiled and said that things would of worked out for us, then I quickly jumped in and told her that even though I had never met him, she married the right guy. We talked for a while, and once all had arrived, we all went out to get something to eat. We sat across from each other and talked.
I called her not to long ago because I wanted to send her an email and needed her address. With what should of been a conversation that took a minute or two, we ended up talking for about an hour. We both had to get back to what we had been doing before I called, then she said something that made me realize that I was still in love with her. She said "I Love You". I told her to tell her son that I said Hi and hung up the phone. It was then that I realized that I was still in love with her.
Outside of the fact that i am VERY SHY when it comes to trying to start a relationship with a lady, I have given up even trying. I also know that deep in my heart I will always love my first love.