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I Remember...

I can't write about this without crying, so please excuse the tears that may stain this page.
 
   I was 32 years old and 4months pregnant with my youngest daughter when the Towers were hit. I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was on my way to the kitchen and had passed the big screen in the living room. At first I didn't recognize what was going on and kept walking. On my way back I noticed the banner at the bottom of the screen and realized it was not a movie on the TV but breaking news and I froze because at that moment the second plane hit and I was in shock. I knew before anyone said anything that our country was under attack and I was crying for all the people who had and would lose their lives because of it.

   I remember how much pain I felt in my heart and in my stomach. Like it was slow motion, I called my brother at work and then my sister in law. They both came home early that day and we were all glued to the TV. 

My Sister-in-law was quiet. She did not have much to say, but you could see the worry and thoughts behind her eyes.

   My brother, he was angry. He went and made a dummy of Bin Laden and set it out in the target range. He had us all practice shooting in case the war came onto our own soil.  So we did. We practiced shooting what he called the "towel head". I had problems with it though which made him sneer at me. I remember the pain from that too. I'm a person who does not judge another because of what someone else has done. I did not and do not see all of the Muslim world as guilty as he does, and as a result, my brother see's me as weak. 

   Me, I remember thinking about all the innocent lives that had been lost, how all our lives would change, and about my lack of experience concerning war in our country. I felt terrible, both for the people we lost, and for the innocent people who were in Iraq and other parts of the world who would suffer because of the desire of a few crazed men to hold absolute power and their desire to judge the world based on their beliefs. I remember thinking that it could not possibly be the same god we worshiped because the one I knew did not need human intervention to achieve his desires. I remember crying over my unborn child, wondering how much our lives would change before she was even born. 

 But mostly I remember the grief and sorrow I felt for us all. I still feel it, right there in the pit of my stomach. 

And like a child, I wish we could turn back time...
ScatteredGrapes ScatteredGrapes 41-45, F Nov 30, 2011

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