A Day That Changed The World....one Person At A Time And Time Stood Still.

To many people seem to have forgotten. Now I grew up in a very patriotic family. My Grandpa was a WWII vet and was a war hero and had received the purple heart, and met the President  ect. I always had a great deal of pride, that I was an American in the greatest country in the world. September 11,2001. That was the day the world literally stood still. My friend Ted (named changed to protect privacy) was on his way to the Twin Towers for a business meeting and ironically enough was stuck in traffic. We were always close and you would think that this near miss would have brought us closer together. But as he later described in the usual PTSD way of seeing a disaster happen right before his very eyes, instead of thanking the God I had been raised to serve and be glad that one of my dearest friends had not  been killed we drifted apart over the following year. He turned to  his god and I turned away. The country as a whole was in a way my God...my pride my everything I would have at one time done anything to serve my country. I was the good citizen. I never questioned our rules, never  said a bad word about our leaders. I voted and sent boxes overseas. I always understood that  some went to war but nobody touched my America. The night before my daughter had not slept she would not sleep she just cried and cried for no reason at all. I had a sense of foreboding and I went to sleep to dream the same dream I had dreamed for years...... A building, fire and pain and screaming. Looking back perhaps a foretelling of what was to be. Who knows , who cares  now. Morning came in the typical Florida fashion. Bright, early and birds chirping... seemed like a normal day. I had to go to work and my at the time husband was still in his passed out drunk stupor as always. My phone rang, and I was too busy to answer ... one call after another...  I  put the cereal down I was feeding my baby and checked one message after the other..... "Amy ..its  me (Ted..) ..oh god pick up the phone....I just saw...(line goes dead), on to the next message, " a voice from long ago that I don't talk to now, " Amy, its Amber(name changed), there has been a bombing in New York"...." Ok" I think " there has been bombings before  its tragic but what is everyone so hyped up about,"..I think much to my embarrasment,  in hindsight...  on to message three... My Dad's voice  sounds of distress as he blurts into my phone, "Amy turn on your damn TV! I was supposed to make a delivery to New York......."..static.... line is dead...I frantically try to cal my dad's number (he was a furniture delivery and had been on his way to NY. ) I never watch the news its nothing but bad news but I could not reach anyone and I flip on the station...what I seen changed my thinking forever.... People jumping out of buildings... it was like a movie only it was real.... Don't ever forget that day... I never will... I have since become the poster child of knowing that nothing is as it seems. My faith in this country was shaken. the belief that we are safe  that we are number one. You want to tell me that god let this happen? That he let men and women go to work that day and never come home? There were children in there ...yes I'm thankful my Dad is OK and that it was not worse, as the country was under attack that day. The lies that have come out sense... whether its true or not that it could have been prevented that somebody knew and could have stopped this I cant tell you that. But what I can tell you is, this American will always be on her toes and I will never blindly trust ever again. When they destroyed our symbol of commerce and tried to destroy our country they knocked down the trust and the hope that once grew like the wild oats of Kansas in my heart. Not just lives were lost that day but it changed us all and fromtheat we have never recovered. For weeks maybe months who can really say the news played the same images over and over and they burned in the soul of every person alive on this planet. My baby watched and seen things I could  not protect her from as the paper came to the front door and programs were interrupted and  people cried openly in the streets. Our children look to us to have the answers as each adult simply shrugs and pretends to hold in the tears. Every mother with a child serving how their hearts must have stopped and the tears they must have shed as talks of war  became as commonplace as the weather. I hope I never have to feel that fear with my children. I hope none of you will ever feel that and if you have my heart goes out to you. To everyone that lost a loved one I cry with you and I hold you in spirit and will not allow those lives to be forgotten. To the firefighters many of whom gave their lives that day  they will be remembered with the utmost respect and awe. the doctors the paramedics the ones who went to work never expecting to pull a child out of the rubble of America's heart who's heart had stopped and never got to turn another year older. To the mothers and fathers who went to work and tried to live the American dream only to never see lunch time. to all lwhos dreams went up in smoke that day. the sadness the hatred the sorrow. Words can never express, nor can that hole in the heart of America and her people ever be filled. America oh America.... how we cry for thee, she once was great now she crawls in the sand of thieves... her heart was torn by flights of fancy and tears rain down where sunshine once played. Never forget, never forget..9/11/01.......