And Then I Woke Up.

every night for about a month, i dreamed about him. sometimes funny- most of the time sadly realistic. i woke up always wondering where he was, who was he with, was he thinking of me, did he ever think of me? with all these questions cluttering my head it was nearly impossible to concentrate on school, work, bills. over time my obsession got worse. we have all been there, have we not? checking his facebook, going slowly past his apartment, being in places he most likely would be, obsessively checking my texts hoping that one would be from him- confessing that he made a mistake and that he was wrong and needed u alot more than u needed him. No such luck. and then came the angry phase where to get back at him and try to show him that u are over him, i started hanging out with guys he knew. whether i was ******* them or just talking, it didnt matter. but none of them where him or even close to it. and even worse i had commitments to be fulfilled to all these men i could care less about.

And just like that- i woke up. i came to reality and realized that none of this **** was working and it was obvious he moved on from me. everyday after that i made myself so busy that thinking of him would be totally irrelevant to wutever i was doing. slowly the dreams dissipated and i returned to obsessing over my own facebook, i tried very hard to make sure i never went past his apartment and not even on accident, ran into him. It was a very slow process, but time seemed to be healing me. 

Now 3 months later there is no still thinking about him, because there is  no him. and i plan on keeping it that way for a very long time.
ayannamay ayannamay
26-30, F
2 Responses Oct 24, 2011

Its time you think like a lady, but act like a man!!!

I feel that I might go through the same. I want to just stop where I am now, and move on. But it seems very hard.

lol thanks for the comment. and it IS very hard. Break ups are the worst because then it feels like your not you without that other person