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What A Heartless Man

This is just a freaking nightmare what happened to me. It happened two months ago and it bothers me like it happened yesturday. All my life my luck with guys sucked. I have always been a good women at heart but those fake guys out there made me sick. the ones that were interested in me were always obnoxious so I always tended to stay away from them. If they asked me out I would say no. This always upset me that there seemed to be no good guys. I decided to do something different and go on an online dating site for fun. I definitely did not want to meet anyone off of there, I just wanted to try something different and just talk to them and see what was out there. I came across a dating site that I saw on the bottom of a youtube video so I joined it.


One night a guy started talking to me that I was not really physically attracted to but our first talk was so wonderful and he seemed so genuine. The next day he sent me an e-mail saying how much he enjoyed talking to me. From there e-mails started going back and forth between us. He seemed so nice that I was becoming physically attracted to him. I gave him my phone number and then he called me. He then continued calling me on the phone every once in awhile. He would tell me things like, "women like you come once in awhile in this lifetime, You are a sweetheart, I like talking to you, I have an idea who I might end up with, where would you go on your honeymoon? You have wonderful values and I respect them." He even wanted to come down to visit me on his birthday for the first time. Often times he would talk about scoring points with my Dad as well. Well his birthday past, and he didn't come to visit because he did not have a passport. When I asked him when will you come to visit he said he didn't know but we continued talking on the phone. Eventually I was the one who did all the calling because we lived in different countries and it would cost money for him to keep calling me from his cell so I called him from my computer which was free. He couldn't call me from his computer because he didn't have a mic. Sometimes I would feel like I am wasting my time because sometimes he would not answer his phone and it was frustrating to be the one calling all the time so I would e-mail him this and let him know this. I would tell him good luck on your dating search or I would tell him I can't keep calling when it keeps going one way all the time. I even said I don't mind doing the calling but if you are not going to answer or respond to messages then I can't keep calling. He would always say the number didn't show up or he didn't check messages. Then he would tell me to call him again. Like a fool I did.

This same thing went on for about 8 months until he found someone else. One time I didn't talk to him for about 20 days or something and then I decided to call. What a surprise he didn't pick up the phone so I messaged him. He then told me that he had no idea that I had called and told me that he wanted to talk to me about something that had occurred recently. He said in the e-mail " I am done looking at other options of women. It comes down to you and another person I have been talking to for awhile." He instant messaged me on the dating site and said he wanted to talk to me on the phone about it so I told him I would call him the next day. I did call him and he told me a bit about her. He said that he was planning on visiting her and even mentioned to me when I was going to Florida because he said he might of been able to come down the same time to meet me but he said he wasn't going to go that soon. He knew that I go to Florida every year at the same time so I guess he was just bull ******** me by saying he might of been able to meet me.

During the same phone call he told me if I was available to talk in the next three weeks. I didn't know why he said three weeks but I didn't ask. I told him I was available and I would call him in the next three weeks. We ended the phone call. After that phone call I decided to e-mail him that same day because many thoughts had entered my head and I wanted to let him know what I was feeling. i said in the e-mail "By the sound of it your decision does not come down to both me and her because you are going to visit her first and if it works out then you are not going to even visit me to see if there is something there." He then e-mailed me back and said "Yeah that is a good way of looking at it. It is obvious that I like her a lot and I will see what happens when I meet her. I have not made any decisions yet and she knows that too. I am keeping an open mind to things overall though. He said all of this to me and like a fool I stuck around.

I called him three weeks later. He visited her. He didn't even tell me that he was going to visit her at that time. He ended it with me. he said 'Lets check in every once in awhile so I can see how you are doing because I care about you as a person." I did wish him luck but I was really upset. I then e-mailed him a few days later after really examining the situation and realized how bad it really was. So even though I had wished him luck I sent him an e-mail saying that I did not want to be friends and that he was the worst guy I have ever know for leading me on. He sent an e-mail back saying he felt guilty but that he was not a bad guy. He apologized for everything but I don't care. Sorry is just a word. He is just all talk no action. He threw it all back in my face, saying that he did not know I liked him that much and that he didn't think I would have thought about our situation like that because we we were not dating. What a bastard. After all the nice things he told me in the beginning how could I not think that he really liked me. He made it seem like he never led me on and that I was more into him than he was into me. He was the one that kept telling me to call him when I was going to give up. He was going to visit me on his birthday. He was the one throwing out compliments but yet he threw everything in my face. He even said in the e-mail that the woman he met is exceptional in everyway, caring, loyal, understanding, open minded. He even said that he will take the situation as a lesson and treat the woman that he ends up with, with the best possible class, dignity, emotions and more. How could he say this to me. He couldn't treat me that way but he is telling me that he used me as a lesson to treat some other women well after he treated me so badly. He then said the e-mails between us have to stop because he knows where he stands with the other women and he must be loyal to her and stop talking to me. He blamed everything he did on chemical imbalances in the brain. He was so dishonest with me in everyway and treated me like crap. He said that the situation between me and him was draining him too much and that he was done with the e-mails.

So here I am scarred because nothing like this has ever happened to me in my life. He claims in his dating online profile that he believes in living a honest clean life, displaying empathy, and selflessness. Did he do that with me no. He treated me like crap and doesn't even care. He claims he cares but I am sure he does not even think about me to this day. It has been two months and he clearly moved on. After 8 months of me listening to everything he wanted to talk about. I was the loyal one. How many women would stick around for 8 months talking to a guy on the phone who didn't come to visit them? he knew this woman for about a month and a half went on a few dates with her and told me how perfect she was after I was the one who stuck around for 8 months. After all of this I wasn;t even worth a date. Now he is happy obviously forming a relationship with that other woman and I am here still hurt at how someone can be so heartless. I am such a good woman with a lovely heart. I care about people and I would never do what he did to anyone. I have never hurt anyone in my life because I have always been 100% honest with them.
skydancer24 skydancer24 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2011

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hai friend,how r u?i am also searching a good friend

Unfortunately this happens to countless women everywhere - so you are not alone. I am a strong believer that actions speak louder than words...and this man simply didn't follow through. Don't ever pursue a man who has made it obvious that he is interested in someone else...and even had the audacity to tell you how "perfect she was". You are better than wasting you time on a man who had very little regard for your feelings. Love will find you - when you least expect it. Keep believing, and don't let this experience cause you to close your heart. There really are some wonderful people in this world.