Why Should I When He Doesn't?I like this guy that I work with. I'm 19 and a sophomore in college; I turn 20 in November. He just turned 23 in June and is about to graduate college. I've had a crush on him for 6 months now, and finally told him so over a text ( I totally wimped out on telling him in person). When he didn't respond for four days, even though I worked with him once during that period, I thought he considered me/our friendship/my feelings so insignificant that he didn't even need to bother responding to me.
Well, I finally asked him why(I lost the battle with myself to not ask him why he never responded--I sent him a message over facebook, therefore wimping out again on the whole face-to-face thing) and he told me that he thought it better if we talked about it face to face or over the phone. Fabulous. So I agreed (with my heart in my throat, mind you) and he called me. As soon as I answered, he told me that he was sorry for not responding sooner, and that he hadn't meant to leave me without an answer for that long. He said he'd started to text back but that that hadn't seemed sufficient. He also told me that he didn't want to say anything that might ruin our friendship; he thought I was awesome and a really good friend. In the end, he told me "I don't know if--I mean, I don't think I'm on the same level of..um...feelings as you are."
I told him I understood and that I wasn't one of those girls that pursues a guy even though her feelings aren't returned, and that it hurt more when I thought he didn't think me worth replying to than him saying no, and he apologized again. So in the end, he doesn't like me the way I like him.
The thing I hate, though, is that I still like him and do all the things I did BEFORE I told him I liked him, like sneaking glances at him and thinking about him. I really want to clone myself just so I have the satisfaction of being the one to smack myself, but I can't stop thinking about him that way. I'm trying to think of him as just a friend, but so far the only thing I'm succeeding at is playing it off like I can totally treat him as a friend in front of him and everyone else I work with.
So I guess what I'm asking is, why am I torturing myself by thinking of him in a way that he clearly doesn't think of me?