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Left Me For Another But I Still Love Him

Back when Myspace was cool I would always go there to meet new people and maybe look for a new boyfriend. I made a few friends here and there but never really found a guy for me. I did talk to one guy who was a DJ at the local bowling alley and also went and met him but when we met I could tell this wasnt the guy for me. We still talked off and on but never dated. One day while on Myspace I got a message from this same DJ said his friend Ben liked my profile and his friend wanted to know if he could message me sometime on there. I said sure why not, I mean I figured it couldnt hurt and who knows this guy might be someone for me.
So needless to say we got to talking and he sounded really interested in me and I met him a few times and hung out with him. He said he thought I was a great girl and that he wanted to get to know me more. At the time I was kinda on the fence about him because I wasn't really sure if I wanted to be more than friends with this guy or just be friends.
We went out a few times and had alot of fun but he was falling hard for me and I was just a little cautious because I wasnt sure how I had felt about him at that time. I did eventually tell him that he was a really nice guy and all but that I didnt have romantic feelings for him at this time. He was a little angry because he did like me as more than a friend. I told him we should remain friends and that he should just go and date other girls. Well he did take that advice and decided he would date one of his exes named Kim. Well he dated her for a few months, even though she wasnt living in the area.
A few months into him dating Kim my feelings for him changed just a tad and I told him this and he was not happy naturally. He said that he had given me a chance and that I lost that chance now that he is with Kim. Eventually he got back to me and told me that after a few months of him and Kim dating he found out from her friend that she was cheating on him with one of her exes.
We decided to give it another go. This was in December of 2007.
On New Years 2007/2008 A friend of mine was having a new years party at her home so I decided that it would be fun to invite him over to party with us. It was a really great night we all had with him. He was so sweet and fun and was just letting us do whatever we wanted to him. We took pictures and had hats and horns and lots of great food. We stayed up all night just enjoying the evening. We all ended up sleeping on the floor out in the hallway of my friends furnshed basement and he was laying right next to me. And being that it was in the winter time the basement was a little chilly and we had blankets and all but he made sure I had a blanket on me and was always making sure I was alright.
We didnt really get together until the summer of 2008 because I wanted to make sure I was really ready to be with him and in a serious relationship and all. In the beginnng of the relationship he wasnt really all that easy to get along with. He expected alot out of me that I couldnt do because I had a kid to take care of. I didnt go out nights and he didnt like that and was always wanting me to come and see him. I would have been over to see him more but being that it was during school I told him I couldnt because I had to help my son with homework and all that. And yeah I coulda came over at night after I put my son to bed but he usually had to work in the morning anyway so I figured there was no sense in coming over that late if he had to get sleep for work. But eventually I agreed to come over to see him Thursday nights and stay with him til about 2am so we could spend some alone time together. The times we spent together were great. And my son just adored him and really looked up to him and everything.
Eventually in 2009 he moved out of his moms trailer and went and got his own apartment close to my house. This was great because we could actually have friends over and be able to move around and make as much noise as we wanted to. Me and my son ended up coming to stay with him every weekend after that. We were so close after he moved into his apartment. Things were going so great. Yeah we had our ups and downs being that most of them came from him stressing over college issues and some being our disagreements but I have to say things were as good as any other relaltionship would be.

By this time I had met most of his family from his moms side and everyone welcomed me with open arms and treated me as If I had always been a part of their family. His sister was so welcoming to me, his mom was always a delight to talk to, his grandma was always really nice to me, his brother and his sister in law were nice and would talk to us like we were good friends and their kids really enjoyed playing with my son just like my son enjoyed playing along with them too.I always thought of them like my second family or my own family and I always would do anything they needed help with within reason of course. To this day his family still thinks very highly of me even if I am no longer with Ben.
He did eventually propose to me. Not in the conventional way but it was on one knee in his apartment. I couldnt help but say yes cuz I knew he was the one for me and that I knew I could trust him to not cheat on me ever and that he had been hurt before in his past relationships and didnt wanna do that to me
I am a fan of New Kids on the Block and I had mentioned this to Ben and he told me the story of how he took one of his exes to a Joey Mcintyre concert at one of the local fairs. I went on and on about how as a teenager I had everything under the sun that had to do with NKOTB. He talked about how we should go and see them if they ever came our way for a concert. They did eventually come our way in 2009 to DTE in Clarkston. Our very first concert together and we had a blast and he enjoyed every minute of it with me. Most men would never be caught dead going to a NKOTB concert and I thought he had balls just for going with me. In the whole relationship with him me and him did end up going to 5 NKOTB concerts between 2009 and 2011. He liked them about as much as I did. He listened to their music and was always signing their songs to me. That was such a joy and turn on for me. I had never had a guy sing to me like this and I was so in love with him!

Fast forward to 2012..The beginning of this year has been great. He moved north to go back to his original Alma Mater Central Michigan University so he could try and finish up his degree in Meteorology. Now we are in a long distance relationship and everything was as good as any relationship could be, at least I thought so. I was worried at times though because he had friends up there who were always in and out of relationships and never stayed with a girl for more than a few months and I got a little worried that what they were doing might wear off on him. He would call me every night at 9:45 to talk and we would talk for hours. He would tell me about his day at work or what happened at school etc...He was always telling me he loved me and that he couldnt wait for me to be his wife.
Well August came around and he needed help moving to a new apartment so me and some friends went up to help him move all his stuff out and into his new place. The night he was all moved in we had a house warming party for him. It was us and some close friends and he invited a few other people to come but most didnt show because of other obligations. The only 2 people to show up were a guy named James and a girl named Vanessa. My boyfriend, Ben, introduced them to us as his friends from school. I didnt think anything about them but that they were his school friends and I also thought that James and Vanessa were dating. Boy was I wrong..Yes I did find out that at one time James and Vanessa were dating but they had broken up a while ago. Only reason I knew this was because the last day I was helping my boyfriend move his stuff out my son saw that my boyfriend had left his facebook page up and I was able to read the messages he had sent to Vanessa! They were friendly messages back and forth but I just had an inkling she was fishing to find out if he was happy in his relationship with me. But the day of the house warming party I had no idea that she had her sights on my boyfriend Ben!

So anyway August comes and goes and now we are into September. Everything is fine until September 29th hits..I talk to my boyfriend Ben on the phone like always at 945 and hes asking if I love him and how much and if I plan on going back to school and all..I'm like yea I will soon but right now I am focused on getting my son graduated from high school (my son has autism and needs extra help so I make sure he has everything he needs) then I will do what I gotta do. He sounded so happy on the phone that night that I had no idea that something was about to happen...The next morning around 6:30 am I see he left me a facebook message saying he loved me and to have a good day and he will talk to me later..I'm thinking ok hes in a good mood thats good to hear..well later on in the day around 5pm I go to check some email and see a message from him on yahoo with the subject line "Moving on".I go to read the message and it basicallly said he is moving on and that yes he is now seeing Vanessa and that he is with her because she has a good head on her shoulders and that she has more to offer to him than I do..This Vanessa girl is 24 and has a 7 month old baby.
I dont see why he left me for her. I have done so much for him in our relationship and I am the one who has a car she doesnt have anything..I cooked and cleaned and showed him how to do alot..shoot even sometimes I felt like I was his darn mother..I'm 35 and he is 28. So now I am heartbroken even though I know I probably shouldnt be. He did try to come back to me but it was only because she went off on him and he couldnt handle it and he was complaining to me that she is crazy and that she is going to hurt his career at CMU..I tried to be with him again to help him but he just ended up leaving me again for her.
Oh well if he wants her crazy butt then more power to him..I'm done getting hurt over and over by him. He also was trying to tell me it was so hard for him to choose between the two of us.He said even cried over it and had a breakdown at work over this whole mess..I shoulda not even answered his message he sent me one morning on facebook.
So needless to say he is now with her for good and is supposedly already talking about moving her in with him next year and he is also already talking marriage to her..seriosuly marriage already? He has only been dating her for about a month maybe a month and a half!
Oh and another thing about him that blows my mind is that he has got her 7 month old baby calling him daddy and he went and spent over $60 on a darn mobile for her babies crib! He wouldnt even spend that much on me unless it was for Christmas. I'm even surprised he had the money to buy this considering he is a college student and doesnt really have alot of money!
So yeah I spent 4 yrs with this jerk and all for what? Nothing! I guess he would rather play daddy with her! Hopefully Karma comes to bite him in the butt!

trulyblue trulyblue 31-35 Nov 6, 2012

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