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I Still Want You By My Side

I still want you by my side

Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried

When I met you, I never expected to fall

I remember, you came over, made me laugh so hard

I remember my first thoughts of you

When I met you, I was scared to let myself fall

Spending so much time with you, the laughs we had

The hugs we had, just being in your arms

I felt so warm inside, and it scared me

Leaning over your should, with my arms wrapped around you

Always being there for each other

After so long of denying my feelings

I eventually realized that I have let myself fall

It freaked me out when I let myself fall for you

I feared of getting hurt once again

We argued, we forgave, we've apologized

There are times when I want to walk away

Want to give up, but part of me won't give up

We've made each other cry. I can't stop thinking about you

I can't stop missing you, no matter how hard I try.

I've tried to let you go, but I can't seem to

As I sit here, thinking, I wonder

How is it possible to love someone so much

I still want you by my side

Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried

 

This poem is dedicated to a guy I love. I wish he knew how much I truly love him. I have done so much to let him go. I distracted myself. I've cried. But its so hard to say goodbye. He has been there for me. But all in all, we've hurt each other so much. Yet we keep going back to each other until one day I decided I couldn't do it. I knew it was time to let go. But I keep wondering why can't I. I probably have hurt him more in the beginning. He did nothing wrong. I was scared to get into a relationship, scared to get hurt again. I wasn't ready mentally. He was so good to me. He held me, stood up for me. I have risked a lot for him as well. I am trying to live day by day, but I can't seem to cope. I go out, focus on college, have a good time and laugh with friends, but when its time to go to sleep, I stay up thinking about him til I cry myself to sleep. I see him in my dreams, wishing it were reality. Wishing he could be here, holding me in his arms, telling me he loves me. Part of me wants hhim so badly. But I keep telling myself I am better off. A mutual friend tells me that he still has some feelings and is willing to give our relationship one more shot. But I still have this fear inside of me. I am closing up, not wanting to fall again, but how can I when I'm still in love with him? I wish I knew what to do. The last time I saw him, we had so much fun together, laughing and talking like we always did. But at that time we had already ended the relationship. That day I wish we were still together, and I remember before leaving, him kissing me on the lips, one last time, and never saw him again. What should I do? Do I try to make things work? Or do I continue to try and let him go?

metalqueen metalqueen 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 14, 2009

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> But I keep telling myself I am better off. <br />
<br />
You don't say why but I suspect it's a deep-down personal reason. If that's how you feel deep-down, then stay clear.<br />
If you go back to this person, then you'll be 'worse off'. And that in itself is reason enough not to.

You're welcome ^^

Thank you so much.

You've got great inner strength to let someone go.<br />
It can take months or years to get over someone.<br />
There are other people out there, who you'll become attached to.<br />
I didn't believe that when I was younger. My first girlfriend died, then I got a boyfriend soon after. I didn't love him. I just felt like I needed to be with someone.<br />
I broke up with him on Feb 14th 2009, and now I consider one of my internet friends, my new girlfriend. I asked her out on the same day lol.<br />
She's a lot better than the first, because she loves animals like I do! We have so much in common, yet we're so different at the same time.<br />
Keep strong, and I hope you find someone, or they find you ^^