After a sad incident, I totally lost the je ne sais quoi, the appreciation, the "love" (??) I had for my best friend. I barely spoke to her after that (blame it on school, blame it on schedules, there's a plethora of excuses)...I just don't trust her the way I used to.

I studied abroad and she seemed so excited to have me come back...I figured, you know, relationships require both people to work hard in building it. Maybe I'll give it another shot and see where this new beginning could take us... 

We've gone nowhere. She has had a boyfriend for five years now, and I just realized (now it's loud and clear) that her life revolves around him. I have barely seen her since I have been back (four months now)...and she left for a trip for a month and didn't even call to say bye or hello once she was back. 

Bad series of unfortunate events.. My grandpa passed away. I didn't even tell her, but she found out and came to the funeral. I did not want her there. I didn't. It was darn AWKWARD...And I didn't need her there.

A week later she got really sick and had to stay at the hospital for a week. She texted me...and asked me to go see her... AWKWARD. Small talk. Good bye. I haven't seen her since then...and I don't want to. 

I am not a big fan of awkward moments, but I also cant confront her yet...I don't know what to say. How do you face the fact that our relationship is completely malfunctional and broken?

andsand88 andsand88
22-25, F
2 Responses Oct 5, 2010

the d-day is coming... i just hope i'll be able to express myself in the right way... i have no intention to hurt her (obviously), but i want to be honest...and the truth may be difficult to handle..i hope that the grudges i (sadly) hold against her will not surface as entirely negative... who knows where this'll go!

This post is so good, and you're so able to communicate directly without bitterness or anger, that it seems like the best way is the way you did it here: Be honest! what about email if phone is awkward? You can basically almost read directly from this post by simply starting with "Hi, Mary, listen, I have been doing some thinking of late, and I was wondering if we could talk about some thoughts I've been having. . . . and then when you get the green light, go straight to this post and incorporate it into your little speech. And see what she says! <br />
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Sometimes, friendships die - sometimes they are rejuvenated. Sometimes later in life they are actually reincarnated - and so much the better for having had a hiatus! It is only fair however, to yourself, if you feel a need or desire to get these thoughts out in the open, to do so. why not? Honesty is always the best policy. And there is nothing in your post that a well-adjusted person can't handle hearing. In fact, it could just as well be that one of you putting the cards on the table is the very sort of thing this friendship needs. But you'll never know until you do it!