All For The Price Of One.

She wasn't my only friend...or even my only best friend, for that matter. But I loved her, I cared for her and I put her before myself many times.

About 6 months ago, her long-term boyfriend broke up with her. She was devestated. I spent every waking moment with her, on the phone to her or talking to her online, just to make sure she was ok and that she knew she was loved.

A few months later, my boyfriend, who was also best friend in the entire world, ended our relationship. It was a shock. We had discussed our future extensively and thoroughly...and his family situation and emotional stability had also been an issue for us...but I was willing to do anything for him.

We spent the next few weeks trying to maintain our friendship. It was no secret that neither of us wanted anything less than to be together...even until this day I still don't understand what happened and how it happened.

Suddenly my ex and my friend were fighting. The cause was unknown to me. Neither of them wanted to talk about it.

My ex eventually confessed that he and my friend had had a physical "arrangement." He felt genuinely terrible and sorry for causing me the pain he knew I would feel. I was jealous, but I was not as hurt as expected. Not until I found out that everyone had known. That the reason my ex had been fighting with my friend was because she had told everyone she knew about it, except me.

He then told me he loved me, had made a mistake, and that he wanted me back. I forgave everything he had said and done because I wanted the same thing. Two days later....he took it back. We have no spoken properly since, despite being heavily envolved in the same things. Meaning that I see him almost on a daily basis, but he pretends I don't exist. It hurts every second of the day. I do love him.

My friend, on the other hand, blamed me for being upset. Stating that she had done nothing wrong and that it was none of my buisness. Whether that is true or not is a matter of personal opinion. For me, I couldn't take it. I could not act that way knowing it hurt her, and I certainly wouldn't treat her the way she treated me. I made the decision to stop being her friend. To cut her off. She had hurt me too much, knowingly. Since I stopped talking to her, I have been hearing stories of her constant bitching about me.

Last week, I found out that she had created an online persona in order to get information out of me about me, my ex and her. She had pretended to be this  person for approximately two months. She had used her knowledge of me as someone who will help anyone who asks, in order to gain my trust and extract the information she needed out me.

This girl, was my friend. I genuinely cared about her, and part of me still does. But she is manipulative, self centred and apathetic. She has treated me like dirt, and she still thinks that she's the victim, telling everyone we know her "version" so that she's get the sympathy and I'll be left alone.

My problem is, that it is so immature and extreme. I asked her to leave me alone. She doesn't even have enough respect for me to do that.

Last year, I was happy. I was in love and I had a good group of friends. I now have no boyfriend and no real friends. I struggled for a long time to work out what I did wrong; what I did do deserve this. The truth is, I didn't do anything wrong, not morally. My flaw is caring too much. I would do anything for those I love, and I get hurt when they care so little for me. It's not that I expect anything in return, it's just that I don't want to be alone. And that's what I am.

AnOpenBook AnOpenBook
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

She was't even my best friend.....but she ruined the best relationship, even for friends, and talked about me constantly when I was no where to defend myself. Maybe she thought it was okay because she was in a wheel chair, she used the excuse everytime someone almost kicked her ***. She told me she was jealous of the relationship I had with her foster brother's. I was calm and collected and never mauled her, when I really should've.<br />
She stole my book I was writing and read it to my guyfriends, the sex scene, I'm a romance novelist. There was no reason for that. <br />
Finally she moved away, only after she ruined my reputation with teachers, she said I wasn't a virgin and slept around with all my friends that were guys, most of them are in the closet gay's, except her foster brothers, which was one that I really loved, even for a thirteen year old. She made my relatinship with him awkward, where we completly stoped talking....<br />
Am I glad she came into my life? Yes, because without her I would've never met her foster brothers, and I learned to stay on my toes.....she knew my life-story, which is completly personal....

1.In life we learn who are real friends are when problems hit and they are by our side.<br />
you said that you dont have any real friends -the good part of that is you know who your real friends are, they would be the one's standing there.<br />
<br />
2. I had a friend that was jealous of everything i had..my man, my house, my family situation. i had to let her go. My question to you is did you see any red flags with your old girlfriend. i am very judgmental when it comes to friends. For example if a girl did a lot of immoral things i wouldn't want to be her friend because i wouldn't trust her.<br />
<br />
This experience will make you stronger and wiser, unfortunately it was a horrible experience for you.<br />
Your old friend may know what she did was wrong no matter how she tries to justify herself. what goes around comes around. Trust me on this.<br />
<br />
my ex of five years treated me like crap and now i am with someone else and he is miserable and still in love with me but its too late.