I Strive To Be Wiser
In most western societies divorce rate is around 50 %. What people can not forget during a divorce and during the times leading up to a divorce and after the settlement is to keep their decency. It is very important I would say crucial if there are kids involved since they are very vulnerable and sensitive to fighting and arguments.
My wife’s sister went through a very ugly divorce almost a decade ago. She and her ex-husband was a nice couple until they encountered financial problems in their lives. This is when their avalanche of troubles started and it kept them at war years after the official end of their marriage.
Joe the husband is a nice guy, I used to spend some time with him when our families went to fishing trips together. He has been a hard worker and he had his own business. My sister in law is also a kind person and she was at home with the kids most of the time. They had three kids together who are adults already.
During the end of the 90-s Joe’s business did not do so well. I remember he was complaining to me about cheaper Chinese products taking market away from his business. Before this time, they had a very good life in economic terms. They had everything they wished for and they liked to spend a lot. Evelyn, my wife’s sister loved this good life, she spent times at everything that was fancy, anything from expensive spas to exclusive yoga classes, and she liked to buy expensive things as well. Joe on the other hand was the money provider and he worked his *** off for their wealthy lifestyle.
When the trouble started their arguments initiated as well. Joe was stressed and Evelyn too, however she didn’t want to stop her elite lifestyle. They started to use more and more credit cards to finance their lavish lives. And as the debt mounted and the business did not recover, their arguments got really heated. At family dinners it was not rare to see them go at each other in front of us and their kids who were small kids still. I could not imagine how they can live under the same roof like that and I could not see how their kids would not be suffering living in a house that was full of loud arguments and fights.
Their relationship just got worse as time passed. Joe started to go home later and Evelyn started to spend more time with her girlfriends at bars and clubs. During this time we had their kids sleep over with my kids quite often, and thinking back maybe those were the only peaceful times for them. As I heard from a common friend during this hard time Joe started an affair with his secretary and Evelyn was also sleeping with another man. I guess they should have divorced already then, but for financial reasons they stayed in the same house, but in separate rooms.
I remember their kids turned into very depressed and quite kids and we could not really cheer them up anymore. Even when they came over they were sometimes just staring at the TV and they didn’t even play too much with my sons. I felt extremely sorry for them because children are the most innocent creatures and when they sense troubles especially in their own family unit they can just close their “doors” and start living in an imagined world, or a surreal world. They can become extremely introvert, shy and even afraid of the world. There is just no way such kids who suffer so much in their childhood, would not develop any psychological problems later in their lives.
Finally, Joe and Evelyn decided to divorce. They fought for everything they had left, the house, who gets what car, custody and visitation rights, child support and even alimony. At the end they only communicated through their lawyers and their relationship that started “happily ever after” at one pint turned into hatred.
What their kids went through might be a miserable and never ending nightmare that unfortunately damaged all three kids psychologically. The eldest one even at the teenage years wetted her bed and still today she is a very quiet and reserved person who does not seem to trust people in general. The smallest child has become an artist but her paintings show extreme suffering and sadness. The one in the middle has developed a bipolar disorder and she has to take medication for the rest of her life.
As regards Joe, I never met him again, but according to his daughters he remarried and still pushing his business ahead. Evelyn on the other hand has become a disaster. She could not find a job (or does not want to), and she started drinking. According to one of my nieces, they met a few months ago at her exhibition in a small gallery and as soon as they saw each other they started arguing.
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My wife’s sister went through a very ugly divorce almost a decade ago. She and her ex-husband was a nice couple until they encountered financial problems in their lives. This is when their avalanche of troubles started and it kept them at war years after the official end of their marriage.
Joe the husband is a nice guy, I used to spend some time with him when our families went to fishing trips together. He has been a hard worker and he had his own business. My sister in law is also a kind person and she was at home with the kids most of the time. They had three kids together who are adults already.
During the end of the 90-s Joe’s business did not do so well. I remember he was complaining to me about cheaper Chinese products taking market away from his business. Before this time, they had a very good life in economic terms. They had everything they wished for and they liked to spend a lot. Evelyn, my wife’s sister loved this good life, she spent times at everything that was fancy, anything from expensive spas to exclusive yoga classes, and she liked to buy expensive things as well. Joe on the other hand was the money provider and he worked his *** off for their wealthy lifestyle.
When the trouble started their arguments initiated as well. Joe was stressed and Evelyn too, however she didn’t want to stop her elite lifestyle. They started to use more and more credit cards to finance their lavish lives. And as the debt mounted and the business did not recover, their arguments got really heated. At family dinners it was not rare to see them go at each other in front of us and their kids who were small kids still. I could not imagine how they can live under the same roof like that and I could not see how their kids would not be suffering living in a house that was full of loud arguments and fights.
Their relationship just got worse as time passed. Joe started to go home later and Evelyn started to spend more time with her girlfriends at bars and clubs. During this time we had their kids sleep over with my kids quite often, and thinking back maybe those were the only peaceful times for them. As I heard from a common friend during this hard time Joe started an affair with his secretary and Evelyn was also sleeping with another man. I guess they should have divorced already then, but for financial reasons they stayed in the same house, but in separate rooms.
I remember their kids turned into very depressed and quite kids and we could not really cheer them up anymore. Even when they came over they were sometimes just staring at the TV and they didn’t even play too much with my sons. I felt extremely sorry for them because children are the most innocent creatures and when they sense troubles especially in their own family unit they can just close their “doors” and start living in an imagined world, or a surreal world. They can become extremely introvert, shy and even afraid of the world. There is just no way such kids who suffer so much in their childhood, would not develop any psychological problems later in their lives.
Finally, Joe and Evelyn decided to divorce. They fought for everything they had left, the house, who gets what car, custody and visitation rights, child support and even alimony. At the end they only communicated through their lawyers and their relationship that started “happily ever after” at one pint turned into hatred.
What their kids went through might be a miserable and never ending nightmare that unfortunately damaged all three kids psychologically. The eldest one even at the teenage years wetted her bed and still today she is a very quiet and reserved person who does not seem to trust people in general. The smallest child has become an artist but her paintings show extreme suffering and sadness. The one in the middle has developed a bipolar disorder and she has to take medication for the rest of her life.
As regards Joe, I never met him again, but according to his daughters he remarried and still pushing his business ahead. Evelyn on the other hand has become a disaster. She could not find a job (or does not want to), and she started drinking. According to one of my nieces, they met a few months ago at her exhibition in a small gallery and as soon as they saw each other they started arguing.
There are more wise stories on www.wisestories.com.
If you have your wise or inspirational story please share it with us!
Just go to www.wisestories.com and click on 'Submit story'.
By:
wisestories
Age:
31-35
