I Struggle Sometimes Not To Feel So Alone

I am the child of an adultous relationship and have always been an outcast in my family. My mother always made sure that i knew that my father didnt want me and that she could have aborted me. She had me because she thought that it would make my father want her but instead he came to love me and she hates me for it. I was never hugged by my mother and i dont know what real love and affection feels like. I will be 35 in almost a month and have never had children. My mother uses me for money just her mother did and doesnt speak to me even though we live in the same apartment. She wont even let the dog come to me. At work, i sit in an isolated area and no one has a conversation with me unless they need something.

robyntw robyntw
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 13, 2010

People, I've met Robyn Wineglass in another lifetime, and she deserves the life she is living. Rather than make her life better through her own efforts, she uses her body as a means of coercing favors. The last time I saw her, she ballooned, and may not be able to coerce a man anymore. She has clearly used up her false charm with others she has sought to use.<br />
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Karma is circular; hence, doing bad to others will eventually result in bad being done to you.

wow, I can't imagine it from your expirience. I too have been affected by adultry. I am not a product of one but I am going through the pain of a husband committing it in our marriage. He walked out on me and our kids for another woman. Truth be told there are more than one but they think they are the only one. I can't imagine how a woman would invest her heart and love in a man who would leave his wife and kids. Some are impressed by that, but it is a shame. My family is totally devastated. It's a vicious cycle. He saw it as a kid and is caring on the tradition of fathers leaving. I hope for you that u find love in yourself enough to want the best and heal from the pain caused by your mom. Just not fair I know!

hey Robyn. U sound really isolated. Depeding on where you live you need to go out and find people and places that have similar interest to you in life. U owe it to yourself to live a life beyond your mother. I wish you all the best.