School Constitutes Work, Right?

I've recently completed my first two years of college. I've actually got quite a bit of schooling yet to go to obtain the degree that I want.

I attend a university where I receive financial aid. I'm required to maintain a certain G.P.A. to keep my aid in good standing. However, the stress of the high G.P.A. can really toll on my personal relationships. Nonetheless, it's really the only way that I can keep going to college. I simply cannot afford high tution rates.

In the process of making "the grade," which by the way is not easy for me. I'm one of those people who really has to work at something. I usually wind up having no life, or missing out on fun opportunities. Sometimes I feel as if the best parts of my life are slipping right under me, and before I know it I'll be an old lady wondering where all the time has went. Yet, I keep on keeping on. Why? Well, my mother has always told me that anything that is worth anything in life is usually not easy, but sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing all this for.

I've tried to maintain a couple of romantic relationships, but they've eventually all failed. The guys I've dated usually say that I never make enough time for them, or that they feel as if I don't prioritize them. In a sense, they are right. I will put school before them, but I feel end up feeling lonely and selfish about it.

The guy that I dated last semester, I really liked. You know, I may have even loved him. However, I was constantly angering him by not spending enough time with him. I probably could have spent more time with him, and now I wish I would have, but I always let my studies take over me.

How much do we lose in the process of a gain? I wish I could find someone who understand me, but I know that is probably way too much to ask. Is it possible to have a relationship when trying to ensure your own success? 

ArdentEyes ArdentEyes
22-25, F
3 Responses Jul 9, 2007

ArdentEyes your story is one in which I can so easily relate. I worked my tail off in college and I did pretty well. It amazed me to see other people do far less work and get far more in the way of accolades. To be brutally honest, I'm not very talented and I've always had to work assiduously to achieve. I'm relatively successful in my line of work but it takes me so much time to prepare. I've often felt like I've missed out on a lot just by dint of the fact that I need to invest so much into getting things completed. I've come to accept that I have to work with what I've been given. As far as relationships go, you'll definitely meet someone who respects your work ethic for the positive that it is. Once I met someone whose interests where aligned with my own, the time-factor became a non-issue. You sound like you know what needs to get done and rise to the occasion.

I agree with emerald. Also, a guy has been in the same situation as you he'd learn to respect time: so a lack-of-time issue should no longer be an issue. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, studying can be seen as an effective investment for the future. And I admire you for studying that hard! :D I'm sure that, sooner or later, you'll find someone that understand the situation you're in, and more importantly, understands you :) Good luck with the studies and guys.

The thing you have to be honest with yourself on is: Do you really put too much time in your school work, or are these men you're seeing immature and selfish, and ungoal oriented? Then you might figure out which part of your life needs better balancing.