All Day, Every Day

Depression is something I have had for probably more of my life than I know.  I was diagnosed in '97 after a particulalry tough time coping with finding out my dad had affairs.  I was put onto anti-depressants and went to therapy, but I knew what to say to get off the meds and get out of sessions.  I didn't want my moods to be regulated by some pill that I had to take.  That was then.

 

Years before that, I would throw tantrums as a kid and teen.  I do believe I should have sought out counseling then, but my folks fell into the population that thought there was a nasty stigma with depression or any mental health issues.  They thought I was going through a phase...time & time again.  I really needed help, and onl now can I recognize that.

 

Now, my depression is at my neck full force, sometimes strangling me with its reality.  I am having a tough time in life and am confused & unsure of myself.  I really do feel confident things will get better than ever, but my husband doesn't agree.  He is Eyeore in every way.  All things suck at all times and we are targeted b society for some inexplicable reason, being made to suffer.  I can't live like that.  So, I'm on Zoloft...again.

 

Zoloft, unfortunately, has led to my having PLMD (periodic limb movement disorder) and I sometimes stop taking it because I become overwhelmingly fidgety.  I have been hitting the gym this week and find that it helps.  I just wish I could share that with Hubby, but he wants nothing to so with physical activity.  I am alone...again.  

 

Not sure how to make it through this struggle this time.  Its so tough!

debmichelle debmichelle
36-40
1 Response Mar 12, 2010

Thanks so much! I have really been having tougher times lately with the sleeplessness and irritability. Any advice is appreciated!