Again and Again

Have been going to NA since I was 16 years old. Have known that I have had a problem since then. And if anyone were to ask me I am up front with my problem, and will admit I am an addict from the word GO. Unfortunately in my area, all the dealers like to prey on the weak at the meetings in my area. As in, there is more dope in a meeting smoke break, than from your usual dealer. Sad, but true. I had 16 days....but saddly have fallen prey again. Actually allowed my self to be caught up in the **** again. F$(^%!!!!! Hate this cycle. Living it for 17 years and now, still counting.
KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher
31-35, F
3 Responses Jun 3, 2007

8 years and counting I'm so tired of running from the good clean sober me...but not tired enough to quit running...

You've got to get the most responsible people who are at this meeting, the people who are dedicated to recovery and who are serious about recovery and join together and address the problem directly. There's strength in numbers. One of you needs to stand in front of the group and aknowledge the problem and join together to solve this problem. I assume you're all adults you have power. I'm not saying this to be dramatic, but getting clean is a matter of live or death. You're not going to let some people who don't give a s@#t about you and are clearly in the wrong doing illegal activity, you're not goping to let those people stop you from recovering are you ? From my experience of being in AA , CA , and NA for over 20 years most addicts are pretty worldly, use some of your experince to fight these guys. maybe ban breaks so everyone stays inside. All the meetings in my area are an hour anyway and don't have breaks. Call the World Services Organization for support and advice. You can probably find their number online.

That really sucks that they allow that at the meetings! Whats the point of it if thats the case! *sigh*