Feels Like The End (edit)

Hi I’m 15 and have had anxiety for 5 years now. In the beginning we didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t too serious and there were only small changes. I wouldn’t participate in class and would no longer perform. Now life went on like that till midway through 8th grade. I remember that it was a Wednesday and I had a report to do. Now for the whole year I had been antisocial until 2 weeks earlier. That day I realized I knew these people and I scared me. Well I got through the report and sat down and proceed to tremble. The teacher notice and brought me out for a privet conversation. Now remember I didn’t know what was going on with me. After the talk I go back to class still trembling. Class ends and then its lunch and I’m very visibly shaking now. My friends try to help but they don’t know what to do. We go back to class and my friends left me alone (apparently it was to tell a teacher) I sat down in my desk and all of a sudden I lost it I started screaming and thrashing around in my desk. I was terrified. They took me out of class in a wheelchair. The next day the same thing happens and continues on for several days.
Well I finally found out what it was. I was suffering from anxiety. They put me in a therapy class and that was it and it was all working out till the last day of my first semester of high school. I had been pacing in a field for about 30min of lunch. The bell rang and this time I didn’t go back. My friend took 2 steps towards me and I lost it I turned and ran. I jumped the school fence ran across a very busy street and collapsed in a field. The principal came and got me. The next day I had another attack and was laid in the same field screaming like I was going to die. They called an ambulance.
I have had a lot of incidence scattered around this. The ones I have stated were just the ones I can talk about without getting to emotional. I am depressed and have hurt myself before. I am wondering what to do because it seems like there is no end. I need help!!
candsandn candsandn
1 Response May 25, 2011

Have you been to see a doctor about this? They will have seen people going through simular things and will know various ways to help through different medications and different therapies to suit you - not as bad or scary as it sounds! Good luck!