Worrying About What People Think

It used to strike at random moments and now it's become constant.  If I go out with friends, the next morning I wake up worried and anxious about what people may be thinking of me based on conversations that we had.  I constantly feel like I'm being judged by people and as much as I know that I shouldn't worry so much about that, and just make decisions that make me happy, I can't seem to get past it. I don't worry so much about embarrassment or anything like that, but more about whether people think I'm a good, moral, decent person.  It's exhausting! Why do I feel this way??? I know that I'm a good person; why do I care so much what people think and why does it take over my thoughts?

I've been on medication for anxiety for a few years now but lately it's gotten worse. I'm going through a divorce right now which probably explains the recent spike in anxiety, but regardless, it's been a problem for a long time now.

girl80 girl80
26-30, F
5 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Thank you Enna! It's nice to know I'm not losing my mind :) I've tried reasoning with myself in the past, much the way you described, but I would talk myself out of my own reasoning, telling myself that others don't think the way I do, which is that I tend to not judge people too harshly. But I guess in general people don't judge others as strictly as I may feel that they do.<br />
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Another thing that I have a problem with is that when I drink (which tends to be part of the outing whenever I'm out with friends), I blackout or have very fragmented/vague memories the next day even if all I have are 2 glasses of wine. Since I can't remember much, I get extremely anxious that I said something inappropriate/offensive. It's not in my nature to do so, but when I'm drinking, my inhibitions are obviously lowered. To top it off, my anxiety level shoots up the next morning due to rebound from the alcohol, but this happens whether I have one glass or five.

I used to suffer from this too Girl80. It was largely due to anxiety and low self esteem. Please ignore the posters who tell you NOT to get help. . . I found good counselling made a HUGE difference for me. A trick that helped me was to think to myself:<br />
"What did someone else say that I thought was stupid/dumbass/ridiculous etc.?" And I could never think of anything . . .! This helped me realise that people were not reacting to me in the way I feared. It was largely a product of my own state of mind. I wish you much greater peace in your future.

Also, anxiety, is a nut term that nut doctors use. Worrying is a nut term that nut doctors use. My advice is talk to a close friend, and ACTUALLY listen to what they say. Do not go to parents, and for heaven's sake, don't go seeing a psychiatrist (a ******* nut doctor).

WOW!!!! My view, don't worry about it. Take a chill pill.

You're too hard on yourself! Study psychology and try and to understand your dillema.