My Far

I understand that there are millions out there that have it harder than me, I understand that some may not have a house to sleep in, clothes on their backs or food to keep themselves alive, I understand. Pardon if I have grammatical errors but you know to each their own, I joined this place because I have no one to speak to, so I'll share my story and anyone that wants to listen can listen. What went so wrong in my life that I am here today, I am going no where and that is where I wish to belong, what has to happen to have one of the more happier people on this planet change into that mind set, a lot of seemingly insignificant events built up into this avalanche of problems. Not so much of an avalanche as it is snow slipping off the roof because you hit it with a shovel. Do I deserve to be where I am because of what I've done is what I'm trying to say but then I look back on my life I see that I haven't done anything, but everyone has their own perception on things so to those I have come across I may have seemed like an *** but that is not what I wish, I wish to be accepted but to do that in this day and age does not seem appealing to me. So umm nothing really I have nothing to say, I'm not gonna say that financial issues are plaguing my household as of now, I'm not gonna say that all my "mates" have abandoned me because of reasons they wish to not divulge, I'm not gonna say that I am a drop out (i'm fine with that btw i mean err), I'm not gonna say that I do no wish to continue on with my blique and meaningless existance and that I often lay awake at night contemplating the least painful way to die and how I would go about getting the necessary tools. What I am going to say is nothing.
DeadlyPlace DeadlyPlace
18-21, M
3 Responses May 20, 2012

I feel ur pain. im living that life too. got otta jail. no job not alot of friends. life sucks but i do have fun and got my family and friends. u will be aight things do work out.

do you truly believe your life is empty and listless? you would be surprised many share that is similar to you. whether you care to share or not. it is your choice. remember you aren't alone, never. nobody truly is alone, it may feel like it at times where you want to just jump or sleep and never awake. trust me i know. maybe i don't share the same experiences you have but i do understand. alot of people do. sometimes i wish i can find one person i can open up to without feeling like im being attacked for my beliefs for what i say. but in life you do have to experience the worse before it becomes good...or ok i guess. lol. i like helping people. i do alot of volunteering and talking to "young" people (hahaha sounds weird saying young people) about what they have gone through. no i'm no therapist just somebody that really understands the pains of if it helps i'm here if you need to talk

Dude, I so feel your pain. Life seems so meaningless to me. And I know it is selfesh for me to say. I have a beautiful wife, three kids, one on the way, a good job and a house. Yet still see no point in it all. Turned to god for help but it only helps for a bit. Wish I could tell you it gets easier but it never does. I know life is what you make it. And it helps to always have goals. Good luck and hang in there