The Bottomless Pit

Every day of my life I seem to be in a dark bottomless pit and I can't see the top. I want to be with people but at the same time, I want to be in my apartment alone withe the shades drawn and the doors closed. It seems as if my best friends are my tv and my computer as well as the newspaper and my magazines.

I can't stand my apartment being sucha a mess but it seems I can't make myself get up out of my chair to do anything.

I have have so many phone calls I want to return but I really don't want to talk to any one even though I really do.

I hate the way I am but I don't know what to do about it. I feel I am letting myself, my dog and God down. It seems the only time I don't feel this way is when i am asleep.