I Hate My Body

I have been struggleing with my body image since a very young age and at many time I will eat anything just to lose weight but i know that you can gain by doing thing but in my mind its much better than eating.

I am only 155 and 5'1' doctors tell me that I am in perfect shape and health and I am also only a size 8 but in my head i still belive that I am over wieghed or not health so I hind my body as much as I can just to keep it form began seen.

The most horrible thing about this is that is runins in the family with all females so i am wondering why is that so does america have such a bad thought on how a Women shuld look now I am not onw for began a skinnky like a stick but its out there so much you wonder at many times is this right?

I am very afreid that one day once I am married and me and my husband are together that I would not want him to see my body just because I belive its not perfect i fear this tought because I do not want to be asmased but I am just to worryed of what he may think of me once he see my body like that it may far in the future but the thought his always here with me.

I know one thing to be ture that if i do not get over that fear then i will be alone for a long time but  at some many times its just to hard to let go but I know I must in oder to be with the one I love I have to love myself first.

I know that when it comes to love that the body is not what counts but the heart still the thought remains there and I have no ideal why.