Me & The Me I Want To Be

There is this girl. She will constantly beat herself up inside and out. She thinks she is not good enough. She compares herself to others on a regular basis. When she looks at other women, and men, she thinks, "They look so nice..." 
She'll never say that about herself.
She does not like to look in the mirror, for all she sees is herself. She can never give off a real smile, for she is hurting too much.
This girl, she is so pretty. Cute, funny, smart, unique. All of these words, others have used to describe her. Yet, she will not believe them herself.
She struggles with weight. She will obtain motivation to do anything, then lose it within the next hour or two.
She will sometimes cry herself to sleep and ask, "Why is this happening to me?"
She will never let others know her pain, for she does not wish to bother them with her own dilemmas.
Yet, she had built up enough of courage to share her pain here.
If you have not figured out who this girl is yet, I will tell you.
This Girl Is Me.

There is another girl. She never beats herself up, in any way. She believes that the world is her oyster, and that she can accomplish everything and more.
She does not compare herself to others, for she loves herself enough to know that it is not worth it.
She never belittles herself, and sees herself as a star. She loves to look at herself in the mirror. Not due to being conceited...
But due to confidence in herself.
This girl is absolutely stunning. She is gorgeous inside and out.
Her personality is that of a rare species. She is outgoing, loving, caring, and an amazing friend to everyone.
She believes that she can do so much for the world she walks upon.
She will cry herself to sleep, but they are tears of happiness.
She asks herself, "What did I do to deserve this blessed life of mine?"
She has many goals in life. She wants to write, to sing, to start a family.
Many things, this girl wants to happen in her life.
She has the confidence to do all of this.
I will share with you, who this girl is.
This Girl Is The Me I Want To Be.
Destati Destati
22-25, F
3 Responses May 11, 2012

This sounds painfully like who I used to be. If you can, pay attention to the things that bring you even the smallest amount of joy or enjoyment. The more you can feel those things, the better you will feel about yourself. If you can, find a therapist.<br />
At least, those are the things that helped me move out of that state.<br />
Good luck!

Thank you very much for the comment. It helps me out! c:

just think positive,<br />
<br />
keep yourself active by doing something in your spare time.<br />
<br />
CUT THE SUGAR/SALT in the food you eat.<br />
order a salt free meal and add little before you eat.<br />
<br />
drink natural juices and avoid concentrates they are full of sugar.<br />
<br />
if you can afford buy from your drug store a detoxification treatment and it will clean your large intestine from bad acids they build up and clog the walls with bad feeling.<br />
<br />
try a simple habit drink a glass of water every morning before you brush your teeth...before you brush your teeth,<br />
<br />
let me know how you feel

All that stuff, I do already. Well, minus the keeping myself active part, which is the most crucial. Honestly, I can't even drink anything with sugar or concentrates, since I'm so used to drinking water everyday (all I drink is water or milk). I'll keep you informed on how I'm doing. c:

I think you have too much spare time which is causing your self destruction. get yourself involved in a work out at least thrice a week and have yourself doing something you would love like painting, writing or reading. drink plenty of natural water and keep your system clean...swim if can but have a regular work out...

You have no idea how right you are about the "too much spare time" thing. I plan to work soon; something to distract myself with. As for working out... Like I had written in the story, I lose the motivation. I'm working on that, but it's hard sometimes, when there's so much on my mind.