Trying To Be Anorexic

I've tried being anorexic. I did research on how and when to eat. What I should eat when it came to that point, if I was aloud to eat. How to throw up the food and etc.I was 5'3 weighing 140 lbs. I would end up starving myself for 24 hours then eating. Sometimes even past 24 hours. My parents would yell at me to eat but I would just say I'm not hungry. Which was true because by then I lost my appetite. I would weigh myself to see if I lost any. If I seen I was losing, I would get happy and continue to not eat anything at all. The longest time I went without eating is 3 days straight. That's how bad my anxiety about my body gets to me. I have a small waist, average arms, and thin/muscular calfs, but a bubble butt that I hate, which makes the illusion that my thighs are bigger than they are. I just like the image of being skinny. Now I am 5'4 weighing 125 lbs. I'm a size 4-6 in jeans and small/medium in shirts. I would skip breakfast and lumch and bare;y eat anything for Dinner. I barely drink anything a day. I try to workout. I run 3 miles striaght on a Elliptical in 25-30 minutes and do arm/stomach/back exercises. I just want to be thin. I get anxiety/panic attacks about my self-image. I'm in severe depression about my 13 year old sister committing suicide, and having 3 guys that are in love with me try to commit suicide becaues I wouldn't be with them and even writing me goodbye letters. I've been suicidal. My self-image is making it worse. If I were thinner, I'd be happier. If I looked like I was at a healthy stage of being skinny, then I'd be more confident. I still wonder how to force yourself to throwup food. This is myself, being open to you guys. This was hard to confess.
KayKay12497 KayKay12497
13-15, F
7 Responses May 20, 2012

i know what its like to struggle with eating i had my bouts of anorexia i was 83 pounds and still felt it was thin enough but there is hope ive been in therapy for many years and im finally recovering not saying that it will never come ack but if u work on it u will come to love yur body and accept it.. hard concept yet it is possible

Girl just work out and change your diet. I have some suggestions for you:) I am currently doing a work out routine and eating mostly healthy, have been since new years. DO NOT result in an eating disorder or drugs, it may make you skinnier but you will look gross and people will notice! You'll feel MORE insecure. My routine is 5 to 6 days a week for 30-60 mins at the Gym. I am eating mostly healthy with 1 treat a week. and only fast food once a month, but you can slowly start with 3 times a months or so if it helps you downsize. When the Gym is closed i use cheap workout videos i got from Walmart, Netflix, or even youtube videos! I love this one video " 6 week abs" instructed by Jillian Micheals, i got it at walmart for like 10-12$, It's working!! FOOD INTAKE is very important to watch. Enjoy treats, just limit them! Focus on organics, high protein, fiber, LOW sodium and LOW sugar, sodium and sugar are main fat causers! Carbs and Calories are fine, you need them to live, just do LOW. Note that it's will take 3 to 4 months of persistent routine to see any major progress. Use this site to keep track of your food intake and physical activity! You record your information, your goals est. It's wonderful! Put a note somewhere you look every night so you make sure you record your activity! GOod Luck, remember you have to earn your body! YOu want a sexy, tone, healthy body, you exercise and eat right. You want a wrinkly and ragged body do drugs, you want a frigid, frail, skinny, deathly looking body and baggy eyes and skin get an eating disorder! Your choice Doll Face! use this food tracker it's wonderful

Looking at your default pic you seem like an attractive looking young girl! I dont know what it was that caused you to want to do this to yourself? I know society can play hell with a girls self image. My exgf she has been on drugs for a while and she looks Anorexic and its not attractive at all. She use to look so beautiful now she just looks like skin & bones. I hope that you change your mind about what you are doing.

Anorexia IS suicide. It will eventually be the death of you. I have a friend who is anorexic she has a 2 year old son, She's in the hospital dying, she's 18 yrs. old. Careful, your playing with your life!

Starving yourself only forces your body to add fat when you do eat. It actually increases weight. Eating small meals regularly and exercising regularly is the only way to lose the excess weight. Anorexia can lead to other really bad side effects, like heart failure and other organ failure. Please don't go this route.

That's part of the reason why I didn't eat past 3 days. I would do research on that subject. Because I would gain from starvation mode, I didn't want to risk it anymore. Thank you for you comment.

ahhh good one and by the way no one was going to sucide the guys were just playing to have u ,,,,, go and read one my stories what is love with 500 viewers before ,, u can read what really life is from my stories and u willl know the answer u are looking for