Kinda Sorta Sometimes

I am mostly happy with my body image- most of the time. Still it really irks me when I feel self conscious about it. First and foremost I want to be healthy, even though I have, oh maybe a couple dozen super unhealthy habits that I seemingly will not give up. So when I feel bad about my size or my weight I feel like it completely undermines what I actually want for myself.

Even at twenty-three I still feel bombarded with images that influence my thinking in a negative way. For one thing I don't need to be thinner, I know I would look fu@king gross. Still yet the media mantra invades my thoughts, somehow, someway. I find myself thinking thinner... But I don't even find those body shapes personally appealing. I think curves are sexy, I think fit is sexy too, but I don't actually find bony very sexy at all.

Hell I even stopped prescribing to the ridiculous (IMO) social pressure to shave off all of my body hair. So how in the world have I ended up still having that nag at the back of my mind every once in a while that tells me I could look a hell of a lot better? I know there is no perfect body image that I would want, I really am happy with myself, it just ****** me off when I let myself get dragged into superficial crap that I really do not care about. I love that everybody looks different, I just wish everyone else could love that too.
Randomsomething Randomsomething
22-25, F
May 24, 2012