Now I'm Free

It started grade 6, I was a normal child. (As normal as it gets for me) I dressed different and all that, but I always ate more. Food was a comfort. Even when bored just binge. Then "honesty box" came along, I had messages saying I was "fat" "ugly" "full of chub" and it really hurt because I could tell my friends wrote it all. Grade 7 came and I still stayed the same, but it keep comming, swimming unit for school I never went, always ditched. They talked about me behind my back, how big I am. Then I snapped, Grade 8 I had enough, I became bulimic.
I threw up everything, breakfast and supper because my parents and I had supper and breakfast together. Then threw out my lunch, but mabey ate a orange or something light. I started slimming, I excersised daily I felt good even tho' it was so wrong. I drank bottles and bottles of water at meals so it be easyer to purge. I felt skinny, I had over a hundred pages under my bed frame, of tricks and tips. I mesmerized most of them. Then I started to hurt, my throat, headaches, dizzy. I knew I had to stop, my first attempt, I told my friend about myself, my response from her was, "that's retarded." I clearly didn't have a friend that cared. So I took care of it myself. I didn't have parents that cared, or friends so I set out for myself.
I ended up throwing out the papers. I stopped, I ate and held it down. I tried my hardest. Sure I gained weight because I had a lazy stage, it felt good. Now I'm fat again, whoo. At the end of my lazy stage I was 150p. So it had been two months now I'm 130p. No, I haven't puked once. I tell myself it would be easyer but I know I'm not going back to that. My goal is 120p or a little bit lower but not too much. If I reach my goal I'm going to be so happy, "I did it without Mia or Ana" And it's going to stay that way. I had my share of hardship, but now I change.
hardtobenormal hardtobenormal
18-21, F
2 Responses May 24, 2012

Good for you. It really does make me happy to hear about your success and strength overcoming bulimia. I hope you keep up the healthy habits and continue to be happy with yourself. Way to go!

Stay strong! You have to accept yourself, LOVE yourself!! And make the best of what you've got. Just stay healthy is what's important. Being healthy is the main priority. Physical appearance is only superficial and not as important as your interior. Excercise for health and wellness, diet if you have to, but for the right reason, for your health and not to please others. You are beautiful as you are!! God made every woman beautiful in different shapes and forms. We don't have to be perfect, just confident and strong, and first comes LOVING and ACCEPTING yourself as you are. HUGS!!